31 January 2007

Math Test

L.A. Math Test
City of Los AngelesHigh School Math Proficiency ExamName:____________________Gang:________________________

1. Duane has an AK47 with a 30 round clip. If he misses 6 out of 10 shots and shoots 13 times at each drive by shooting, how many drive by shootings can he attempt before he has to reload?

2. If Jose has two ounces of cocaine and he sells an 8 ball to Jackson for $320 and 2 grams to Billy for $85 per gram, what is the street value of the balance of the cocaine if he doesn't cut it?

3. Rufus is pimping for three girls. If the price is $65 for each trick, how many tricks will each girl have to turn so Rufus can pay for his $800 per day crack habit?

4. Jerome wants to cut his 1/2 pound of Heroin to make 20% more profit. How many ounces of cut will he need?

5. Willie gets $200 for stealing a BMW, $50 for a Chevy and $100 for a 4x4. If he has stolen 2 BMW's and 3 4x4's, how many Chevy's will he have to steal to make $800?

6. Raul is in prison for 6 years for murder. He got $10,000 for the hit. If his common law wife is spending $100 per month, how much money will he have left when he gets out of prison and how many years will he get for killing her since she spent his money?

7. If the average spray paint can covers 22 square feet and the average letter is 3 square feet, how many letters can a tagger spray with 3 cans of paint?

8. Hector knocked up six girls in his gang. There are 27 girls in the gang. What percentage of the girls in the gang has Hector knocked up?

30 January 2007

Nice place to eat

Ricky wanted to take me to lunch the other day. I should have known something was up when he insisted we eat here.

Interesting but useless facts

1. Hitler and Napoleon both had only one testicle.
2. In America you will see an average of 500 advertisements a day.
3. It's illegal in Newcastle, WY to have sex in a butcher shop's meat freezer.
4. In ancient Rome, when a man testified in court he would swear on his testicles.
5. Jaguars are frightened by dogs.
6. Holland has the densest population per square mile of any nation in the world.
7. In Alaska it is illegal to whisper in someone's ear while they are moose hunting.
8. It takes about 48 hours for your body to completely digest the food from one meal.
9. It's against the law in Willowdale, Oregon, for a husband to curse during sex.
10. Honey is the only food that doesn't spoil.
11. Human tapeworms can grow up to 22.9m.
12. It's been estimated that one out of every two hundred women is born with an extra nipple. 13. In Atlanta, GA, it is illegal to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or street lamp.
14. Horses are forbidden to eat fire hydrants in Marshalltown, Iowa.
15. It takes 17 muscles to smile and 43 to frown.
16. In Britain, failed suicides were hanged in the 19th century.
17. If a child burps during a church service in Omaha, Nebraska his or her parents may be arrested.
18. It takes a lobster approximately seven years to grow to be one pound.
19. In a lifetime the average US resident eats more than 50 tons of food and drinks more than 13,000 gallons of liquid.
20. In California, animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship.
21. Hamsters blink one eye at a time.
22. If a person has two thirds of their liver removed through trauma or surgery, it will grow back to the original size in four weeks time.
23. Human thigh bones are stronger than concrete.
24. In Arkansas it is illegal to buy or sell blue lightbulbs.
25. If Barbie were life-size her measurements would be 39-23-33. She would stand seven feet two inches tall and have a neck twice the length of a normal humans neck.
26. Hondas and Toyotas are the most frequently stolen passenger cars because they have parts that can be readily exchanged between model years without a problem.
27. In 1386, a pig was executed by public hanging for the murder of a child.
28. Humans are the only animals that use a smile as an emotional response.
29. When a small amount of liquor were placed on a scorpion, it would instantly go mad and sting itself to death.
30. Homosexuality remained on the American Psychiatric Association's list of mental illnesses until 1973.

Have you ever wondered if......

1. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
2. How is it possible to have a civil war?
3. If God dropped acid, would he see people?
4. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
5. If you ate pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
6. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
7. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?
8. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
9. Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
10. If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole damn airplane made out of that stuff?
11. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
12. If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?
13. Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?
14. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
15. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
16. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
17. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
18. Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going as ghosts but as mattresses?
19. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
20. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
21. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"
22. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
23. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
24. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
25. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
26. Can vegans eat animal crackers?
27. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
28. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
29. How do blind people know when they are done wiping?
30. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people

Bizarre Facts

Bizarre Facts
1. China has close to 25% of the world's population.
2. Christmas became a national holiday in the US in 1890.
3. Cows sweat through their noses.
4. Deer sleep only 5 minutes a day.
5. Despite a population of well over one billion people, there are only an estimated 250 million televisions in use in China.
6. Dogs can't decipher size. That's why little dogs are mean.
7. Cleveland law forbids you to operate a motor vehicle while sitting in another person's lap.
8. Dave Matthews relocated to the United States to avoid service in the South African Military. 9. Don't even think about having sex while in a moving ambulance in Tremonton, Utah as it is extremely illegal. Of course, a stationary ambulance is another story.
10. Dentists have recommended that toothbrushes be kept at least six feet from toilets to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.
11. Dolphins can look in different directions with each eye. They can sleep with one eye open.
12. Cockroaches break wind every 15 minutes.
13. Coffee was first known in Europe as Arabian Wine.
14. Did you know that 85.7% of statistics are made up?
15. Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear pants.
16. During pregnancy, the average woman's uterus expands up to five hundred times its normal size.
17. China was the first country to use paper money.
18. During the average human life, you will consume 70 assorted bugs as well as 10 spiders as you sleep.
19. Did you know that crocodiles never outgrow the pool in which they live?
20. Death Valley, California, has a point that is 280 feet below sea level

Spider Time

I transfered here to the desert back in 97. When i first got here i have to tell you that i was amazed. Heck i am from SouthWest Louisiana and living in the High Desert took some getting used to. One day Ricky and i were driving to New Mexico and i noticed these things on the highway. I asked Ricky what they were and he said spiders.

I said "What"
He said "Spiders"
I said" you got to be kidding me."
Ricky said " no they come out and warm themselves on the hot pavement"
We kept driving along and i couldn't help notice how many spiders were out. I'm talking about 300-500 spiders per mile. I was amazed.
Well as we were driving Ricky starts telling me that most of the spiders are tarantulas. Tarantulas are know for jumping. As you can imagine i start getting the heebe jeebes but i couldn't let on to Ricky. If Ricky or any of the other jackals i work with smell fear, they will torment the hell out of you. It's best to just keep it a secret.

So we are driving along and i swear the biggest spider i have ever seen is chillin out in the middle of the highway. That dang spider was bigger than my hand. Keep in mind that i am 6'5" tall. I slowed down to get a better look at it and Ricky wants to catch it to bring back to the shop and show the guys.

Against my better judgement we stop and Ricky grabs a Big Gulp cup to put the spider in. I didn't want to look like a chicken so i walk right up to the spider with Ricky. Then all of a sudden for no reason Ricky reaches out with his leg and kicks that damn spider right onto my boot. I about crapped myself right there in the highway. I was shaking the hell out of my left leg to dislodge the spider and trying to stomp on it with my right leg. I had to look like a drunk chicken trying to dance. Ricky was laughing his dang fool head off and went and jumped into the truck and locked the doors and left me there with a jillion spiders and one pissed off huge tarantula crawling up my boot.

I eventually got the spider loose and back into the truck. i learned several things that day: Ricky is an ass, never leave your keys in your truck, don't play with spiders.

For a couple of years after that the guys would walk into my office with a Big Gulp cup pretending to be drinking and act like they trip and fall and spill the cup on my desk and out comes a spider. It gets to be nerve racking. Eventually all the screaming from the office girls prompted them to stop that little habit of theirs.

29 January 2007


I spent two days last week in a Supervisor Safety Seminar. I know what your thinking, poor guy having to suffer through 2 days of that. I have to tell you that i was impressed. As an adult i usually subscribe to the thought process that the the brain can absorb what the butt can endure. This class was different. It was actually well worth attending. I believe that this company "Gets It".

Last year 9 people died in the Permian Basin in the oilfield. This raises the age old question of how many deaths are acceptable? Is Zero Accidents possible? How much money should be spent to achieve Zero Accidents? This particular company has great records. 97.6% of their accidents were negligence on the part of the injured employee. Now we are back to accountability.

Here are some terms you see a lot in the industry:
EMR - Experience Modification Rate, this determines how much you pay for Workers Compensation Insurance. Any number below 1 is acceptable.
TRIR - Total Recordable Incident Rate, this is how often your people are getting hurt. The lower the number the better.
Fatalities - How many people died on your watch.

Here is a question, Can a company work 1 year without any accidents? Of course it can. The probability of that happening is slim. We keep telling our people to be safe but are we holding them accountable? Here is an example:

In a refinery, the pedestrian has the right of way. A guy is walking and comes to a crosswalk. A 5 ton dump truck is backing up down the street. The dump truck has a backup alarm blaring. The guy walks out and gets hit by the dump truck and breaks his arm. The guy suffers a Recordable Injury and a Lost Time Accident. The guy said "but i had the right of way". In this case the guy defended his right of way with his life. If he was watching out for his own safety he would have let the truck go by. Should this guy face disciplinary action?

This is the type of incidents that happen that we need to change to achieve Zero Accidents. We need to hold people accountable for their actions.

Does passing more laws and making more rules help? Is it possible that by having all these rules a person can be lulled into a false sense of security? If a person thinks that the rules will keep him safe then that person is an idiot. The rules don't keep you safe, your brain keeps you safe. I'll give you an example: you walk up on a Breaker Box that is supposed to be Tagged out. you see the tag hanging but the breakers are sparking. Are you going to reach in there and touch it? Of course not, you can tell it is not properly tagged out. You just became accountable for your safety. If you use your brain, you will stay safe. You must be accountable.

26 January 2007

Pet Fish

Texas redneck was stopped by a game warden in East Texas recently with two ice chests of fish,
leaving Lake Fork well known for its fishing. The game warden asked
the man,
"Do you have a license to catch those fish?"

"Naw, my friend, I ain't got no license. These here are my pet fish."

"Pet fish?"

"Yep. Every night I take these fish down to the lake and let 'em swim' round for a while.
Then I whistle and they jump right back into this ice chest and I take 'em home."
"You're Crazy, Fish can't do that!"

The redneck looked at the game warden for a moment and then said,
"It's the truth. I'll show you. It really works."

"Okay, I've GOT to see this!"
The redneck poured the fish into the river and stood and waited
After several minutes, the game warden turned to him and said, "Well?"

"Well, what?" said the redneck.

"When are you going to call them back?"

"Call who back?"

"The FISH!"

"What fish?"

We in Texas may not be as smart as some, but we ain't as dumb as most.
You smart ones have a good day!

History Exam

History Exam... Everyone over 40 should have a pretty easy time at this exam. If you are under 40 you can claim a handicap. This is a History Exam for those who don't mind seeing how much they really remember about what went on in their life. Get paper and pencil and number from 1 to 20. Write the letter of each answer and score at the end. Then, best of all, before you pass this test on, put your score in the subject line!
1. In the 1940s, where were automobile headlight dimmer switches located? a. On the floor shift knob b. On the floor board, to the left of the clutch c. Next to the horn
2. The bottle top of a Royal Crown Cola bottle had holes in it. For what was it used? a. Capture lightning bugs b. To sprinkle clothes before ironing c. Large salt shaker
3. Why was having milk delivered a problem in northern winters? a. Cows got cold and wouldn't produce milk b. Ice on highways forced delivery by dog sled c. Milkmen left deliveries outside of front doors and milk would freeze, expanding and pushing up the cardboard bottle top.
4. What was the popular chewing gum named for a game of chance? a. Blackjack b. Gin c. Craps! 5. What method did women use to look as if they were wearing stockings when none were available due to rationing during W.W.II? a. Suntan b. Leg painting c. Wearing slacks
6. What postwar car turned automotive design on its ear when you couldn't tell whether it was coming or going? a. Studebaker b. Nash Metro c. Tucker
7. Which was a popular candy when you were a kid? a. Strips of dried peanut butter b. Chocolate licorice bars c. Wax coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water inside+
8. How was Butch wax used? a. To stiffen a flat-top haircut so it stood up b. To make floors shiny and prevent scuffing c. On the wheels of roller skates to prevent rust
9. Before inline skates, how did you keep your roller skates attached to your shoes? a. With clamps, tightened by a skate key b. Woven straps that crossed the foot c. Long pieces of twine 10. As a kid, what was considered the best way to reach a decision? a. Consider all the facts b. Ask Mom c. Eeny-meeny-miney-mo
11. What was the most dreaded disease in the 1940's? a. Smallpox b. AIDS c. Polio
12. "I'll be down to get you in a ________, Honey" a. SUV b. Taxi c. Streetcar
13. What was the name of Caroline Kennedy's pet pony? a. Old Blue b. Paint c. Macaroni
14. What was a Duck-and-Cover Drill? a. Part of the game of hide and seek b. What you did when your Mom called you in to do chores c. Hiding under your desk, and covering your head with your arms in an A-bomb drill.
15. What was the name of the Indian Princess on the Howdy Doody show? a. Princess Summerfallwinterspring b. Princess Sacajewea c. Princess Moonshadow
16. What did all the really savvy students do when mimeographed tests were handed out in school? a. Immediately sniffed the purple ink, as this was believed to get you high b. Made paper airplanes to see who could sail theirs out the window c. Wrote another pupil's name on the top, to avoid their failure
17. Why did your Mom shop in stores that gave Green Stamps with purchases? a. To keep you out of mischief by licking the backs, which tasted like bubble gum b. They could be put in special books and redeemed for various household items c. They were given to the kids to be used as stick-on tattoos
18. Praise the Lord, and pass the _________? a. Meatballs b. Dames c. Ammunition
19. What was the name of the singing group that made the song "Cabdriver" a hit? a. The Ink Spots b. The Supremes c. The Esquires
20 Who left his heart in San Francisco? a. Tony Bennett b. Xavier Cugat c. George Gershwin -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ANSWERS
1. b) On the floor, to the left of the clutch. Hand controls, popular in Europe, took till the late '60s to catch on.
2. b) To sprinkle clothes before ironing. Who had a steam iron?
3. c) Cold weather caused the milk to freeze and expand, popping the bottle top.
4. a) Blackjack Gum.
5. b) Special makeup was applied, followed by drawing a seam down the back of the leg with eyebrow pencil.
6. a) 1946 Studebaker.
7. c) Wax coke bottles containing super-sweet colored water.
8. a) Wax for your flat top (butch) haircut.
9. a) With clamps, tightened by a skate key, which you wore on a shoestring around your neck. 10. c) Eeny-meeny-miney-mo.
11. c) Polio. In beginning of August, swimming pools were closed, movies and other public gathering places were closed to try to prevent spread of the disease.
12.. b) Taxi. Better be ready by half-past eight!
13. c) Macaroni.
14. c) Hiding under your desk, and covering your head with your arms in an A-bomb drill.
15. a) Princess Summerfallwinterspring. She was another puppet.
16. a) Immediately sniffed the purple ink to get a high.
17. b) Put in a special stamp book, they could be traded for household items at the Green Stamp store.
18. c) Ammunition, and we'll all be free.
19. a) The widely famous 50's group: The Inkspots
20. a) Tony Bennett, and he sounds just as good today. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- SCORING 17- 20 correct: You are older than dirt, and obviously gifted with mental abilities. Now if you could only find your glasses. Definitely someone who should share their wisdom! 12 -16 correct: Not quite dirt yet, but your mind is getting keen. 0 -11 correct: You are not old enough to share the wisdom of your experiences


I had a bunch of dollars I needed to exchange, so I went to the currencyexchange window at the local bank. Short line...just one person in front ofme, an Asian guy who was trying to exchange yen for dollars and he was alittle agitated.He asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday I get two hunat dolla fo yen-today I get hunat eighty? Why it change?"The teller says, "Fluctuations."The Asian guy says, "Fluc you white guys too."

24 January 2007

The Psychic


22 January 2007

Do you know the answer?

Back in 1990 when i hired on with this outfit in New Orleans LA we had one heck of a crew. We were always betting each other and we like to wager things that really didn't cost any money. Things like the loser drinks a bottle of Tabasco, shave a body part, etc.... You know, fun stuff. Well we were sitting around talking about the movie Red Dawn. You remember when Patrick Swayze was a high school kid and the Russians invaded. Anywhoo, do you remember the part when Powers Booth, an Air Force Pilot, was shot down? One of the girls found him while he was knocked out and she was standing over him with a loaded gun when he came to. She thought he was a Rusky so she asked him "What is the capitol of Texas?"
He replied "Austin"
She said "No it isn't, it's ____________"

Do you remember what City she named. I thought i did back in 90 or 91 and it cost me an eyebrow.

Do you know the answer?

20 inches of snow

Here is the first recorded 20 inch snow in Odessa TX. Photograph to prove it.

Global Warming?

The weather guesser predicted snow measured in feet this weekend. He was wrong, again. We did get some more ice. Naturally i had to go out and play. I love ice. I would prefer snow but i will take what i can get. It is hard the believe that Global Warming is happening.

Pop a Cap

Working with NRA-ILA and the Texas State Rifle Association, State Representative Joe Driver (R-Garland) has garnered seventy-eight co-authors to House Bill 284, the NRA-backed "Castle Doctrine"/self-defense reform bill.

The proposed measure is modeled after Florida's landmark law, creating presumptions of reasonable use of defensive force in your home, vehicle, or place of business. The bill will codify that you have "no duty to retreat" from a violent attack if you are in a place where you have a right to be, if you are not the initial aggressor, and if you are not engaged in criminal activity. HB 284 also establishes protection from civil lawsuits if you lawfully protect yourself or your family.

I think this is a great bill. We need to protect those who protect themselves. Simply put, if you are in my house, car or property and you shouldn't be, i can pop a cap in that ass. If you sue me and i win, you must pay all my bills related to the case. Rock on.

21 January 2007

I Am An American!

I was reading my Brother's Blog, http://www.johnsegocentricworld.blogspot.com/ and i was wondering if i am a racist. What is a racist? I agree with what that politician said. How much is enough? Am i a racist if i marry within my race? Am i a racist if i support my race? Do i have to discriminate to be a racist? I don't like child molesters, thieves and men who beat their women. Does that make me a racist? Am i a racist if i prefer to be around those who i have more in common with? I hang around with Anglos and do not hang out with other nationalities. Does that make me a racist? If i treat everyone equally that i meet am i a racist? The question is do i really treat everyone equally. Probably not. We tend to show favoritism to those more like ourselves. Seems to me that everyone has a little racism in them.

I was watching TV this weekend and 2 movies got me to thinking. The first was The Patriot. In this movie George Washington agreed to free every slave that fought for the Continental Army for 1 year. This was long before Lincoln Freed the slaves. The second movie was WindTalkers. They treated the Indians like crap. Were they racist or just looking at it differently than we look at it. Let's look at the races that were discriminated against. There is the Jews, Blacks, Indians and Mexicans. What do they have in common? Could it be that they were all conquered? We treated the Indians badly because the whites after the war had a bad taste in their mouth for the way Indians treated women and children in war. Were they wrong for this? The whites were mad at the blacks because they were freed after an investment was made for their labor. The Egyptians still dislike the Jews after they were freed. What is the common denominator here. I really think that we as a people look down on those who were conquered.

I believe that if we continue on the road we are on there will not ever be equality in this country. I may prefer to hang around those of equal color and beliefs as myself but i do not think that makes me a racist. Do i discriminate? I like to think i do not but i am not sure. I do not think discrimination has been properly defined. What makes be better than the other races? Absolutely nothing. We are all just different. We need to accept this. Every race has their own group that give the rest of the race a bad name. It is everywhere. I think it comes down to acceptance.

We need to stop seperating ourselves. We are not African Americans, Mexican Americans or Europeon Americans. As long as we seperate ourselves, we will always be seperated. I am not saying to turn your back on your heritage, but repect my Americanism. Fly the American Flag and proclaim yourself as an American. Don't get mad at people for looking down on you when you start off by procaliming *******American. We are American first. We need to all go back to being simply An American.

19 January 2007

Are You Breaking the Law?

Cohabitating Americans in 7 states are running afoul of the law. That is correct. If you live in Florida, Michigan, Mississippi, North Carolina, North Dakota, Virginia and West Virginia you are violating laws against "lewd and lascivious" cohabitation if you are not married. I would like to see them enforce that in West Virginia. If they are cohabitating with their sister before they marry her, how can the police prove it? Ha. Now that was funny. You know it's funny. Go ahead and laugh.

But seriously, I can't believe that only 7 states has this law. I think it is a good law. What does living together do for a relationship anyway except provide premarital relations? Anyone ever stop and think that premarital sex is a sin to begin with? The law makers are just trying to keep you from sinning. We should thank them.

Let's be realistic here, all of our laws had to start somewhere. Think back and almost every one of our laws come from the Scriptures. These laws were written some 7000 years ago. They are still enforce today.

Check out this article. It has some good points. http://marriage.rutgers.edu/Publications/SWLT2%20TEXT.htm

Of Mice and Men and Cheeseburgers, Milk and Crackers

We were sitting around the office one day up in the Pan Handle of Texas. As a group of Type "A" personalities will do, we were telling stories with one upmanship. The guys started telling me that Bigun could eat more than anyone. I threw out that i bet Bigun couldn't eat 10 double cheeseburgers from McDonald's $1 menu in 30 minutes. Everyone said i was crazy and the $20 bills came out wanting to back Bigun. Ricky threw out he would bet anybody that Bigun couldn't do it. The bets were made and the date was set for the next day at lunchtime. It was on like Donkey Kong.

While we were sitting there someone pipes up, " you want to lose any more money with your stupid bets?", naturally me the gambler that i am i threw out 2 more bets. I says I'll bet anyone anything that they can not drink 1 gallon of milk in 15 minutes and keep it down for 1 hour, and no one can eat 10 saltine crackers in 1 minute with nothing to drink. As you can imagine the arguing was on. I was told i was on the crack and fixin to lose my ass. I said bring it on. Well one guy steps up and says he can drink the milk if it's cold. No problem says me. We will call him the Milk man. I ask what's the bet? He wanted to bet his $20 against my $50. I'm in. Milk Man decides he wants to do it right now. I run up to the Allsups, buy a gallon of ice cold milk and return. Milk Man goes through this exhibition of loosening the lips, clearing his throat and farting to make room for the milk. He grabs the milk and as soon as he takes the first hit we start the timer. He is just chugging away and he thinks he has the bet won. about 10 minutes into the drinking he realizes that he is not going to make it. All told after 15 minutes he only drank about half a gallon. It is hard to do. Now that i think about it, he never paid me. It was worth it to see him get sick from that milk. I know that it is almost impossible to do. Last summer Ricky bet me i couldn't do it. The science behind it is that when you get that gallon of milk in your belly, it will curdle and make you sick. When i did it i drank everything but about 6 ounces. What i drank i kept down but it was hard to drink that whole gallon. It is a safe bet.

The next day I'm at the office and they call me and say that Bigun is on his way, get the burgers. I load up and take off to McDonald's and order 20 double cheeseburgers. Remember this is a very small town of about 12,000 people. The owner of the McDonald's is there and he ask me what i am going to do with 20 double cheeseburgers. I tell him about the bet and he said" Bring him in here and i will keep feeding him burgers until he can not eat no more. I want to see how many he can eat". I call the shop and tell them and everyone comes up to the McDonald's to watch the eating exhibition. We even special ordered the burgers to Bigun's liking. It was really fun because the owner of the McDonald's started passing out cheeseburgers and he was just giving them to us. After all was said and done, Bigun didn't eat the 10 in 30 minutes and Ricky cleaned up with his bet.

Well while Bigun was eating his double cheeseburgers, this new we hired like 5 days earlier said he could eat the 10 saltine crackers in 1 minute with nothing to drink. I wish you could see this guy. He is about 5'10", young about 20 years old, real fancy hair do and thinks he is better looking than Brad Pitt. We will call him Pretty Boy. Pretty Boy is insisting that he can do it but doesn't have any money to bet. I look at him and say " I'll bet you a crew cut that you can't do it". Now this made Pretty Boy stop and think. He places a lot of value on his Doo. He agrees to it. I give him 10 crackers and he is ready. He puts 4 in his mouth and then realizes that he s getting a free haircut. You see, when you put 3 or 4 crackers in your mouth, it totally absorbs all your saliva and you can not swallow. It is impossible to eat those 10 crackers. Needless to say Pretty Boy lost.

We load up to go back to the shop and we are hootin and hollerin like wild injuns ready to scalp pretty boy. He tells out secretary that he is having second thoughts about the free hair cut. She politely tells him that there is no way he is leaving that shop without that haircut and if he didn't want to get hurt he better just take it like a man. He did. We happened to have a set of clippers laying around. You never know when something like this comes up. We cut his hair and left him a top knot and two puffs on the side. He looked like Krusty the Clown. It was hilarious. Pretty Boy paid his bet and is still with us. He is a keeper.

18 January 2007

Europe - Thy Name is Cowardice

Are we as a nation and individuals becoming guilty as well. Ask the question, how did you feel about Iraq when we started and how do you feel now? Be honest, at least with yourself. This will only take a few minutes to read and might get you to thinking a bit of what is happening. It also raises the question I am sure you hear often...if the world feels that way, maybe we are all wrong. Well, here is a German who doesn't agree with that.
HERE IS A GERMAN EDITORIAL If any of you still feel that this war on terror is a mistake, here is an opinion from an unexpected source. It's fascinating that this should come out of Europe. Mathias Dapfner, Chief Executive of the huge German publisher Axel Springer AG, has written a blistering attack in DIE WELT, Germany's largest daily paper, against the timid reaction of Europe in the face of the Islamic threat.This is a must-read by all Americans. History may well certify its correctness.


(Commentary by Mathias Dapfner CEO, Axel Springer, AG)
A few days ago Henry Broder wrote in Welt am Sonntag, "Europe - your family name is appeasement." It's a phrase you can't get out of your head because it's so terribly true.Appeasement cost millions of Jews and non-Jews their lives, as England and France, allies at the time, negotiated and hesitated too long before they noticed that Hitler had to be fought, not bound to toothless agreements.Appeasement legitimized and stabilized Communism in the Soviet Union, then East Germany, then all the rest of Eastern Europe, where for decades, inhuman suppressive, murderous governments were glorified as the ideologically correct alternative to all other possibilities.Appeasement crippled Europe when genocide ran rampant in Kosovo, and even though we had absolute proof of ongoing mass-murder, we Europeans debated and debated and debated, and were still debating when finally the Americans had to come from halfway around the world, into Europe yet again, and do our work for us.Rather than protecting democracy in the Middle East, European Appeasement, camouflaged behind the fuzzy word "equidistance," now countenances suicide bombings in Israel by fundamentalist Palestinians.Appeasement generates a mentality that allows Europe to ignore nearly 500,000 victims of Saddam's torture and murder machinery and, motivated by the self-righteousness of the peace movement, has the gall to issue bad grades to George Bush... Even as it is uncovered that the loudest critics of the American action in Iraq made illicit billions, no, TENS of billions, in the corrupt U.N. Oil-for-Food program.And now we are faced with a particularly grotesque form of appeasement. How is Germany reacting to the escalating violence by Islamic Fundamentalists in Holland and elsewhere? By suggesting that we really should have a "Muslim Holiday" in Germany?I wish I were joking, but I am not. A substantial fraction of our (German) Government, and if the polls are to be believed, the German people, actually believe that creating an Official State "Muslim Holiday" will somehow spare us from the wrath of the fanatical Islamists. One cannot help but recall Britain's Neville Chamberlain waving the laughable treaty signed by Adolph Hitler and declaring European "Peace in our time".What else has to happen before the European public and its political leadership get it? There is a sort of crusade underway, an especially perfidious crusade consisting of systematic attacks by fanatic Muslims, focused on civilians, directed against our free, open Western societies, and intent upon Western Civilization's utter destruction.It is a conflict that will most likely last longer than any of the great military conflicts of the last century - a conflict conducted by an enemy that cannot be tamed by "tolerance" and "accommodation" but is actually spurred on by such gestures, which have proven to be, and will always be taken by the Islamists for signs of weakness. Only two recent American Presidents had the courage needed for Anti-appeasement: Reagan and Bush.His American critics may quibble over the details, but we Europeans know the truth. We saw it first hand: Ronald Reagan ended the Cold War, freeing half of the German people from nearly 50 years of terror and virtual slavery. And Bush, supported only by the Social Democrat Blair, acting on moral conviction, recognized the danger in the Islamic War against Democracy. His place in history will have to be evaluated after a number of years have passed.In the meantime, Europe sits back with charismatic self-confidence in the multicultural corner, instead of defending liberal society's values and being an attractive center of power on the same playing field as the true great powers, America and China.On the contrary - we Europeans present ourselves, in contrast to those "arrogant Americans", as the World Champions of "tolerance", which even (Germany's Interior Minister) Otto Schily justifiably criticizes. Why? Because we're so moral? I fear it's more because we're so materialistic, so devoid of a moral compass.For his policies, Bush risks the fall of the dollar, huge amounts of additional national debt, and a massive and persistent burden on the American economy - because unlike almost all of Europe, Bush realizes what is at stake - literally everything.While we criticize the "capitalistic robber barons" of America because they seem too sure of their priorities, we timidly defend our Social Welfare systems. Stay out of it! It could get expensive! We'd rather discuss reducing our 35-hour workweek or our dental coverage, or our 4 weeks of paid vacation... Or listen to TV pastors preach about the need to "reach out to terrorists. To understand and forgive".These days, Europe reminds me of an old woman who, with shaking hands, frantically hides her last pieces of jewelry when she notices a robber breaking into a neighbor's house.Appeasement?Europe, thy name is Cowardice.

16 January 2007

Evacuating Inter cranial Contents

Evacuating Inter cranial Contents is Doctor speak for "Sucking out the Brains." We are talking about a Dilation and Evacuation (D&E). This is an abortion. A D&E is used for 2nd trimester and later abortions. There are two types of D&E. There is the D&E dismemberment or the D&E Intact abortion. For the lay person, this is a Partial Birth Abortion. Please go to this link and read this transcript. http://www.nccbuscc.org/prolife/issues/pba/NYhighlights.pdf

This link explains how a D&E is performed. I will break it down for you. In layman terms. A woman decided for whatever reason she should not take this pregnancy to term. She decides that she will terminate the pregnancy. She wants to abort her Baby. Since the women doesn't carry the Baby to term, her cervix is not dilated. The doctor reaches in the women's vagina, feels the Baby and pulls the Baby down through the cervix so that everything but the head is out of the cervix. At this point depending on the length of the Baby some of his or her legs may be hanging out of the vagina. The doctor cuts the umbilical cord and then either reaches in with forceps and crushes the Baby's skull or makes an incision in the base of the Baby's skull and sucks the brains out with a suction tube. If the preceding was done, this was an intact D&E. If they pull the baby out in pieces, it is a dismemberment D&E.

It blows my mind that people in an advanced country like ours can say that a women has the right to have this done to her Baby. If a person kills a 10 year old it is murder. Why is it not murder to kill this child? IT IS KILLING, PEOPLE. I can't even begin to imagine what type of brain activity a women must have to agree to have her Baby's skull crushed or the brains sucked out. I would venture to say they must have mental issues. Just a guess.

The reason i bring this up is because the government is arguing whether or not to sedate the fetus (baby) prior to abortion. WAKE UP AMERICA. If the government will concede that we may need to sedate the Baby, then it obviously feels pain. If the Baby feels pain, then it must have brain function. If the Baby has brain function then it is a living, breathing human. THE BABY HAS RIGHTS. Do not kill the Baby. How can people not see this? How blind can they be?

Come Judgement Day, many women and abortion doctors will stand before God and we will see if their rationalization will convince him that they did nothing wrong. Good Luck.

84% want the death penalty

A few days before Christmas a divorced woman with joint custody of her daughter had visitation. She took her daughter shopping with her. We found out later that she was not the primary care giver. Any way, her daughter is 9 years old and autistic. While they were parked in the parking lot of the store the daughter was having a fit. Apparently something the mother was doing agitated the daughter and she wasn't happy. The mother decided to leave her in the car while she went in done some shopping. When the mother returned the daughter wasn't in the car. She started looking for her and then had the store employees start looking. An hour or two later she decided to call the police.

The police show up, take a statement and issue an Amber Alert. Now this being a small West TX town this Amber Alert brought out over 250 volunteers to look for this little girl. It goes out on every news channel with her picture. Everyone knows her name and knows she is Autistic. This all started about 1500. The search continues through the night. The Fire Departments and the Red Cross show up to help feed the volunteers. The local helicopters are out and everyone is looking for this little girl. This is very typical of a small town. When a child is in distress, people will do anything to help. I was proud of my community.

Around 0700 the next morning the police get a call from an elderly man saying that his grandson has the little girl and that he found her in an alley. When they run the address of the person who has the little girl they realize that it is 5 miles from where she was lost and also the address of a registered sex offender. The police descend on his trailer house, use the city master key to open the door and viola, there she is. 13 hours she spent in this trailer with this known sex offender. The city is outraged that this could happen. As of the writing of this it has not been released if the sex offender molested the child or not. The news reported that he was arrested and facing 5-20 years.

Last night CBS 7 ran a poll. The question was "Do you think that persons convicted of a sex crime with a child should get the Death Penalty?" 84% said yes. Needless to say this is a hot button topic. Please respond and let me know what you think.

I am against the Death Penalty. Death is an absolute. The end. If we as a society are to end someones life, our Justice System should be absolutely perfect and it is not. If you don't believe me, ask Ron Goldman's family. Don't get me wrong. I am NOT a bleeding heart liberal. I simply believe that the Death Penalty is wrong considering how many convicts on death row were proven innocent with DNA testing. I do not believe the criminal justice system decides who is guilty or innocent, it decides who can afford the better lawyer. Do a little research into Ada Oklahoma, the book is called The Dreams of Ada, and you will see what a crooked prosecutor and a crooked judge can do to ruin someones life. Duke University is another example. DNA proved that those boys didn't do it and they still haven't dropped the charges.

You might be wondering what we should do if we abolish the Death Penalty. It is simple. Prison. Not prison like we have today, but prison like you see in the movies in other countries. Hard hitting prisons that do not coddle prisoners. It should be a 2 or 3 tier system. 1 tier for violent offenders and another tier for those who may be rehabilitated. Each prison would be self sufficient. It would produce a product and sell it. If it made good money the prisoners would eat good. If not, bread and water. The prison for those who can be rehabilitated would work for the City, Parish, County or whomever and they would learn a trade. Their pay would be their room and board. Take away everything. No TV, hot water, air conditioning, nothing. It should be a deterrent. No separation. The whole prison in General Population. If convicted of a violent crime, you go to the big house. If it is a non-violent crime you go to the little house. Say about 3 stays in the little house, you get the big house. I think it would work.

15 January 2007


Below in an exert i pulled off the Texas website. I can understand that we need to reform our taxes to help pay for the schools. What i don't understand is why they can't curb their spending. When the lottery was legalized in Texas they talked about how much money it would create and how they would spend it on the school system. Where did all that money go? HB 5 is going to penalize me because i use tobacco products. I don't think it is fair to single out a group of people and make them pay for the inadequacy of our elected officials. This really burns my butt. I promise you one thing, Rick Perry, you do not have my vote.

I am sick of hearing how smoking is bad for me. No shit! I am aware of this. It is my life and if i wish to smoke, shut up. I can't smoke in public, in bars, in restaurants or anywhere else but i can finance the school system? If i am paying all this extra money to smoke, then give me my respect. I am tired of all the commercials demonizing tobacco use. Give it a rest.

On May 15, 2006, the Third Called Session of the Texas Legislature was gaveled to a close. This special session was called in response to the Texas Supreme Court's ruling that the Texas school finance system was effectively an unconstitutional statewide property tax because the $1.50 cap on school property taxes did not give school districts meaningful discretion to set local property tax rates. The Court gave the Legislature a June 1, 2006, deadline to reform the school finance system. Following the Court's ruling, Governor Perry created the Texas Tax Reform Commission to develop proposals to modernize the state tax system and provide long-term property tax relief as well as sound financing for public schools. Their proposals were filed as a package of four bills at the beginning of the special session, along with a fifth bill that created a property tax reduction fund. Following is an overview of those bills:

HB 5 increases the tax on cigarettes and other tobacco products excluding cigars. The cigarette tax will be raised by $1.00, while the tax on other tobacco products will increase from 35.213% to 40%. It is estimated that the bill will raise over $430 million for fiscal year 2007 and between $600 and $700 million in subsequent years. The bill takes effect January 1, 2007.

Tune Up

Here you go. The standards are set. You can beat and or kick the shit our of your wife but, now here it is, not in front of the kids. It is OK to give your wife a Tune Up if it is warranted. Oh, don't bruise her or make her bleed. The Religion of Peace. Why don't we all convert. Ladies, Tune Ups arent just for hookers anymore.


George nails it!

> > New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com! There's
> > a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't
> > particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of
> > the football team is doing these days -- mowing my lawn.
> > New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window
> > unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human
> > finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than
> > a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Lobster?
> > New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot,
> > blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description
> > for these kids: "Lucky bastards."
> > New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men
> > care about your eyebrows: Do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.
> > New Rule: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole
> > aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but without that watery taste.
> > Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored
> > Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.
> > New Rule: Stop screwing with old people. Target is introducing a
> > redesigned pill bottle that's square, with a bigger label. And the
> > top
> > now the bottom. And by the time grandpa figures out how to open it,
> > his a$$ will be in the morgue. Congratulations, Target, you just
> > solved the Social Security crisis.
> > New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the
> > a$$hole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande,
> > half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino,
> > extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low, and one NutraSweet,"
> > you're
> > a huge a$$hole.
> > New Rule: I'm not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my
> > entering my PIN number, pressing "Enter," verifying the amount,
> > no, I don't want cash back, and pressing "Enter" again, the kid who
> > is supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating my Almond Joy.
> > New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it
> > doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your a$$.
> > And it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did
> > anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant.
> > You're not spiritual. You're just high.
> > New Rule: Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the seven
> > deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the U.S. Open of Competitive
> > Eating,
> > watching those athletes at the poker table was just too darned exciting.
> > What's next, competitive farting? Oh wait. They're already doing that.
> > It's called "The Howard Stern Show."
> > New Rule: I don't need a bigger mega M&Ms. If I'm extra hungry for
> > M&Ms, I'll go nuts and eat two.
> > New Rule: If you're going to insist on making movies based on
> > crappy,
> > television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a
> > so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember
> > the reason something was a television show in the first place is
> > that the
> > wasn't good enough to be a movie.
> > New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for
> > weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab.
> > Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy it for
> > you isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of looting.
> > New Rule: And this one is long overdue: No more bathroom attendants.
> > I zip up, some guy is offering me a towel and a mint like I just had
> > sex with George Michael. I can't even tell if he's supposed to be
> > there, or just some freak with a fetish. I don't want to be on your web cam, dude.
> > just want to wash my hands.
> > New Rule: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear
> > "27 months." "He's two" will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I
> > didn't really care in the first place.
> > New Rule: If you ever hope to be a credible adult and want a job
> > that
> > better than minimum wage, then for God's sake don't pierce or tattoo
> > available piece of flesh. If so, then plan your future around
> > saying,
> > you want fries with that?"

World Peace

Is World Peace a myth or a possibility? Is Peace the absence of conflict or the presence of Justice? What would it take for World Peace to exist? Every Miss America will pray for it and try to promote it. I say it will never happen.

Let's look at the countries that are peaceful. Why are they? They all believe in God. The governments that are killing their populace believe in Allah or some other bullshit. Why do people want to kill other people? How about an example. When you discipline your children do you use positive motivation? You do this good and you receive X. You do this Bad and you receive X. Which one usually works best? So now you offer this 20 year old male with no social life and no possibility of his life getting better, 70 Virgins and a place with Allah. Which way do you think he will go? He will do anything you ask him to do, including killing people.

I would say that until all religions can get along without wanting to kill each other, World Peace is just a pipe dream. Look at all the countries that keep their subjects under oppression. As long as Democracy doesn't exist, they can rule the country as they see fit. Then when they are done with their country, they try to take over another country. If you don't believe me, call Israel.

I think back about 20 years or so and each and every terrorist event has been carried out by Islamist. Do you think there will ever be World Peace with these idiots running around proclaiming Jihad? Would the world be a better place without them?

Do you think that if Iran produces a nuclear weapon that they will be peaceful? If you do then your are an idiot and part of the problem. I am tired of the passive role that America is playing. We need to be proactive in stopping these Islamist that want us dead. I really don't care who we offend. Just my thoughts.

Back yard

I love ice storms.


The fence captured the sleet fairly well.

Mesquite Field

By my work.

Ice Trees

More pictures of the ice.

Ice Tree

This is the tree in my front yard. The ice is so cool.

Below Freezing

well we have been three days now without going above 32 degrees. I have to tell you that it is downright cold here. We usually have some cold snaps but not for this long. When we came into the office this morning, someone had turned off the heater. All the fish in the tanks were not moving. They were just hovering around. I thought they were all dead. The water lines were also frozen. Just another day in paradise.

12 January 2007

Questionable Morality

A friend of mine asked me where i came up with the name A Moral Compass. I told him i heard it on a re-run of CSI. A Moral Compass is only a tool that can point you in the direction of Morality. It is entirely up to you to follow the Compass.

So then he poses this situation: He is at a friends house when these shady looking sorts arrive. These shady fellers are offering to sell some merchandise at a reduced price. The price is about 25% of the value. This merchandise is new in the box. This merchandise is something you would like to own. Do you buy it? What is the right thing to do?

I ask him, Do you think the wares are stolen? he replies, probably. To me the conversation is over and the question is answered. If you feel that the goods are stolen they probably are. Anything else is just rationalizing the situation for a good deal.

So my question to you is, if you're not sure if the goods are stolen, should you buy them? You could really argue both sides of this one. It could be that this guy received these goods as a Christmas present and doesn't want them. What would you do?

User Friendly

Now this is a user friendly bike. I love it and ride as often as i can.

My Toys

Here is the Harley i sold. I sold this to a friend of mine so i could buy me a more "user friendly" bike.

Mudding West Texas Style

20 years ago, my how the years have gone

Back in 1985 I graduated from a small K-12 school in southwest Louisiana. I got a regular job digging footers for concrete foundations. Needless to say I saw no real future in this. I was working with a fellow who had just gotten out of the Navy. He was complaining about our work and was threatening to go back into the Navy. I said I would go with him because I had dug about as much ditch as I wanted to dig. We split work early one day and went and talked to the Navy recruiter. This guy had over 30 years in and was one of the saltiest sailors I had ever met. He asked me what I wanted to do in the Navy. My plan was to become a diesel mechanic. He assured me I could get that billet and signed me up guaranteeing me an “A” school, and in 4 years when I got out I would be a diesel mechanic.

I talked to this recruiter in October and was schedule to join on December 15th, 1985. Needless to say I never went back to the ditch digging job and figured I would bum around for 2 months. I picked up this Podunk job on a crab boat. For the next 2 months I emptied crab pots and baited them with the foulest smelling dead fish I had ever encountered. I was making $30 a day with all the crab and fish I could eat. Looking back, that was one of the fun nest jobs I had. We drank beer the whole time we were working and it was nice being out on the Gulf.

Now its time for me to go to boot camp. My recruiter told me all I needed was the clothes on my back and a coat since my boot camp was in Great Lakes Illinoise. Remember I am from Southwest Louisiana. The only time we see ice is when we open the freezer. I get to Great Lakes and this little short fucker keeps yelling at me and I am freezing my ass off. I was not interested in what he had to say. I wanted to get warm. Remember it is the middle of December. It was below zero when we arrived. Boot camp is 8 weeks. The first 5 days are known as P days or processing days. They gave me shots for everything. Stuff I had never heard of, we were vaccinated for it. While I was in boot camp I applied for the SEALS and when I didn’t make that I applied for Overseas Home Porting.

After 8 fun filled weeks in boot camp I graduated and went to “A” school for 13 weeks. Remember I was going to be a diesel mechanic? I never saw one. Oh by the way, my “A” school was also in Great Lakes. I don’t know how those people live in that cold. At least school wasn’t as bad as boot camp. We still had PT (physical training) daily but we were used to it by now. After graduating from “A” school I went to Overseas Home Porting School. Can you believe this? I was shocked. But I’ll tell you what. You would be surprised what you need to know to be serviceman living abroad. Oh yea, the ship I was going to didn’t have medical facilities so the Navy had all my wisdom teeth pulled before leaving. They had not broken the surface yet. The Dentist said this was no problem. He could DIG them out. Very painful. Not fun.

After that I was shipped out to the USS Belknap, Gaeta Italy. I hit Italy in July 1986 and I left my morals back in the states. I was 18 years old, on my own, living in Italy and loved every minute of it. While stationed in Italy I visited Egypt, Sicily, France, Spain, Greece, Israel, Yugoslavia, Tunisia, Turkey, Morocco and Libya. We didn’t actually go to port in Libya. Kudaffe started his crap when we were there and were 10 miles of his coast daring him to come out and play. I remember we were 8 on and 4 off for three days. Brother that will take its toll on you.

I have so many sea stories in my head from all the ports we visited. Every country has its on story. We went to several ports in each country. When France pulled out of NATO, the admiral had every ship in the Med port in France to help boost their economy and try to convince them to re-join. I must say that Egypt is about the worst place I have ever been. We actually saw dead camels floating in the rivers. It was nasty. In Turkey I was introduced to a government run whore house. I had never seen anything like it. The whole compound was constructed as small apartments. The women would stand in front of a plate glass window and if you decided to visit her, she would draw the curtains and you would take care of your business. The average cost was $7 US. You see, if a person went into debt, his wife would work off the debt at the compound. I can honestly say I helped many Turks become debt free. I considered myself an ambassador for financial freedom.

Toulon France has the best GUT. The GUT is a string of bars. Bars on both sides of the street for as far as you can see. I am talking hundreds of bars. The bars are filled with “buy me drink” girls. These girls get you liquored up and convince you to buy them a bottle of champagne. The champagne is actually Austi Spumante and it cost $100 a bottle. I used to laugh at the fools buying it and hoping to get lucky. They never did. France also had the squish sandwich. They would make a submarine sandwich and put fries on it with Dijon mustard. They would then squish it on a waffle iron and it was awesome.

A Moral Compass

Many of my friends have told me that i am an opinionated person and i should start a blog. Well i decided to give it a try. I welcome all feed back and look forward to some interesting discussions.