30 December 2009

I was a drunken sailor

“I take exception to folks saying that Obama and Pelosi are spending like drunken sailors. When I was a drunken sailor, I quit spending when I ran out of money.”

23 December 2009

Ma'am set straight

Do you remember the scene? The Senate. Barbara Boxer hearing from a Brigadier General? Silly General! He addresses Barbara as “Ma’m”, and she CORRECTS him, telling him she’s “worked SO hard to earn the title, “Senator”, so please to use that when speaking to her.Get a load of this letter!
Read the letter sent to Sen. Barbara Boxer from an Alaskan Airlines pilot below. Many of us witnessed the arrogance of Barbara Boxer on June 18, 2009 as she admonished Brigadier General Michael Walsh because he addressed her as “ma’am” and not “Senator” before a Senate hearing.
This letter is from a National Guard aviator and Captain for Alaska Airlines named Jim Hill. I wonder what he would have said if he were really angry. Long fly Alaska!!!!!
You were so right on when you scolded the general on TV for using the term, “ma’am,” instead of “Senator”. After all, in the military, “ma’am” is a term of respect when addressing a female of superior rank or position. The general was totally wrong. You are not a person of superior rank or position. You are a member of one of the world’s most corrupt organizations, the U.S. Senate, equaled only by the U.S. House of Representatives.Congress is a cesspool of liars, thieves, inside traders, traitors, drunks (one who killed a staffer, yet is still revered), criminals, and other low level swine who, as individuals (not all, but many), will do anything to enhance their lives, fortunes and power, all at the expense of the People of the United States and its Constitution, in order to be continually re-elected. Many democrats even want American troops killed by releasing photographs. How many of you could honestly say, “We pledge our lives, our fortunes and our sacred honor”? None? One? Two?Your reaction to the general shows several things. First is your abysmal ignorance of all things military. Your treatment of the general shows you to be an elitist of the worst kind. When the general entered the military (as most of us who served) he wrote the government a blank check, offering his life to protect your derriere, now safely and comfortably ensconced in a 20 thousand dollar leather chair, paid for by the general’s taxes. You repaid him for this by humiliating him in front of millions.Second is your puerile character, lack of sophistication, and arrogance, which borders on the hubristic. This display of brattish behavior shows you to be a virago, termagant, harridan, nag, scold or shrew, unfit for your position, regardless of the support of the unwashed, uneducated masses who have made California into the laughing stock of the nation.What I am writing, are the same thoughts countless millions of Americans have toward Congress, but who lack the energy, ability or time to convey them. Regardless of their thoughts, most realize that politicians are pretty much the same, and will vote for the one who will bring home the most bacon, even if they do consider how corrupt that person is. Lord Acton (1834 – 1902) so aptly charged, “Power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely..”Unbeknownst to you and your colleagues, “Mr. Power” has had his way with all of you, and we are all the worse for it.Finally Senator, I, too, have a title. It is “Right Wing Extremist Potential Terrorist Threat.” It is not of my choosing, but was given to me by your Secretary of Homeland Security, Janet Napolitano. And you were offended by “ma’am”?Have a fine day.
Jim Hill16808 – 103rd Avenue Court EastSouth Hill , WA 98374
If you care about the way our Country is heading, Please circulate this to remind every voter that the “cesspools” MUST be pumped out when we go to the polls in November, 2010

22 December 2009

Muslims made America

Barack OBAMA said, in his Cairo speech: “I know, too that Islam has always been a part of America’s story.”


Dear Mr. Obama:
Were those Muslims that were in America when the Pilgrims first landed? Funny, I thought they were Native American Indians.
Were those Muslims that celebrated the first Thanksgiving day? Sorry again, those were Pilgrims and Native American Indians.
Can you show me one Muslim signature on the United States Constitution?Declaration of Independence? Bill of Rights? Didn’t think so.
Did Muslims fight for this country’s freedom from England? No.
Did Muslims fight during the Civil War to free the slaves in America? No, they did not. In fact, Muslims to this day are still the largest traffickers in human slavery. Your own ‘half brother’ a devout Muslim still advocates slavery himself, even though Muslims of Arabic descent refer to black Muslims as “pug nosed slaves.” Says a lot of what the Muslim world really thinks of your family’s “rich Islamic heritage” doesn’t it Mr. Obama?
Where were Muslims during the Civil Rights era of this country? Not present.There are no pictures or media accounts of Muslims walking side by side with Martin Luther King Jr. or helping to advance the cause of Civil Rights.
Where were Muslims during this country’s Woman’s Suffrage era? Again, not present. In fact, devout Muslims demand that women are subservient to men in the Islamic culture. So much so that often they are beaten for not wearing the ‘hajib’ or for talking to a man who is not a direct family member or their husband. Yep, the Muslims are all for women’s rights aren’t they?
Where were Muslims during World War II? They were aligned with Adolf Hitler. The Muslim grand mufti himself met with Adolf Hitler, reviewed the troops and accepted support from the Nazi’s in killing Jews.
Finally, Mr. Obama, where were Muslims on Sept. 11th, 2001? If they weren’t flying planes into theWorld Trade Center, the Pentagon or a field in Pennsylvania killing nearly 3,000 people on our own soil, they were rejoicing in the Middle East. No one can dispute the pictures shown from all parts of the Muslim world celebrating on CNN, Fox News, MSNBC and other cable news networks that day. Strangely, the very “moderate” Muslims who’s asses you bent over backwards to kiss in Cairo, Egypt on June 4th were stone cold silent post 9-11. To many Americans, their silence has meant approval for the acts of that day.
And THAT, Mr. Obama, is the “rich heritage” Muslims have here in America.Oh, I am sorry, I forgot to mention the Barbary Pirates. They were Muslim.
And now we can add November 5, 2009– the slaughter of American soldiers at Fort Hood by a Muslim major who is a doctor and a psychiatrist who was supposed to be counseling soldiers returning from battle in Iraq and Afghanistan.
That, Mr. Obama is the “Muslim heritage” in America.

21 December 2009

Dr. Laura got her ass burnt

Dr Laura Schlessinger ("Dr Laura") broadcasts a 3 hour long, radio program each weekday on a network of over 500 radio stations in the U.S. and Canada and has an estimated audience of 20 million people. She holds a Ph.D. in physiology (study of the functions of living matter), not psychology as some assume.

In her radio show, Dr Laura Schlesinger has said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following response was posted on the internet and is best regarded as an essay clearly meant for a wider audience than just Dr Laura. It is a general reminder that many belief systems pick and choose their way through biblical teachings in determining what is "right" and "wrong". Authorship has been attributed to several, but remains unconfirmed.

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination... End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of Menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is, my neighbours. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath.Exodus 35:2. Clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle- room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16.Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your adoring fan.

15 December 2009


I was having the oil changed in my truck today so i was in the waiting room watching fox. They had some politicians from Illinois on the TV talking about moving 100 prisoners from Gitmo to some prison 150 miles from Chicago.

As we were watching, the Governor reported that this would create 3,000 jobs. WTF? How can adding 100 inmates to a prison create 3,000 jobs?

This is a prime example of how the dimocrats plan on fixing the economy. 3,000 jobs to guard 100 prisoners. If that 100 prisoners creates 3,000 jobs then it stands to reason that we, the taxpayer, must be paying for services to create 3,000 jobs. Are you shitting me?

This administration is nothing short of a huge disappointment to me. The sad part is that all the stupid fucking idiots out there that support that dumb ass haven't got a clue. Stupid bastards!

Catholic Quiz, what do you know or think you know about Catholics

Which of the following ten statements are true?

1 - Vatican II changed the Church from a monarchy to a democracy.

2 - You'll definitely go t heaven if you attend Mass and confess your sins.

3 - We know the Bible contains mistakes.

4 - When you get divorced, you're excommunicated and can't receive communion.

5 - Your conscience tells you what's right or wrong.

6 - Every Catholic must go to confession at least once a year.

7 - An annulment is a divorce for Catholics.

8 - You sin if you don't believe in Church-approved apparitions of Mary.

9 - Purgatory is no longer a required doctrine.

10 - Good works help us earn salvation.

Have you written down your answers? Good - now tear your answer sheet into little bits and throw them away. No matter which of these statements you identified as true, you're wrong. The list does not contain even one true statement. All ten are false.

I put this up to show that even good Catholics can have a less than perfect knowledge of their faith and that non-catholics shouldn't assume that they know the Catholic faith.

14 December 2009

Why men shouldn't write advice columns

Carrots, Eggs, and Coffee.

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up, She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, 'Tell me what you see.''Carrots, eggs, and coffee,' she replied.Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, 'What does it mean, mother?'Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. It's thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.'Which are you?' she asked her daughter. 'When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, afinancial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened andstiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest do youelevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

11 December 2009


Two brothers enlisting in the Army were getting theirphysicals. During the inspection, the doctor was surprisedto discover that both of them possessed incredibly long,over sized penises. “How do you account for this?” heasked the brothers.“It’s hereditary, sir,” the older one replied.“I see,” said the doctor, writing in his file. “Your father’sthe reason for your elongated penises?”“No sir, our mother.”“Your mother? You idiot, women don’t have penises!”“I know, sir,” replied the recruit, “but she only had one arm,and when it came to getting us out of the bathtub, she hadto manage as best as she could.”

The window through which we look

A young couple moves into a new neighborhood.The next morning while they are eating breakfast,The young woman sees her neighbor hanging the wash outside.“That laundry is not very clean”, she said.“She doesn’t know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap.”
Her husband looked on, but remained silent.
Every time her neighbor would hang her wash to dry,The young woman would make the same comments.
About one month later, the woman was surprised to see aNice clean wash on the line and said to her husband:
“Look, she has learned how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her this.”
The husband said, “I got up early this morning and Cleaned our windows.”
And so it is with life. What we see when watching othersDepends on the purity of the window through which we look.

08 December 2009

December 7, 1941

A day that will live in infamy. In the past, Dec 7th was just another day to remember what happened. All i really knew about that day was what i was taught in school.

Well, in September 2009, my wife and I went to Hawaii for our honeymoon. We took the tour one day of Pearl Harbor and we got to see it with our own eyes. Yesterday meant a lot more to me after being there. Watching the presentation at the museum center and then going and seeing everything was awesome.

On Dec 7th, the bombs dropped and sunk the USS Arizona . 1,177 sailors and marines died aboard her. Here is a little tidbit most people don't know. Up until Dec 25th, they heard sailors tapping on the hull to alert rescuers. For 18 days, men were trapped inside the ship before they died. I can't even imagine what that was like.

With the ship being sunk, there was no way to gain access to the trapped sailors. I never realized the harshness with which so many of our sailors died. It was tragic.

The following pictures were taken by me. This was September 2009.

This is the aerial view of the USS Arizona that i took while enjoying a helicopter tour of the island. To this day, oil is still leaking out of the wreckage. Some say she will continue to leak oil until the last survivor dies. If you are a survivor of the Arizona, upon your demise you can have your cremations inturd in the wreckage to spend eternity with your shipmates.

The only way to access the memorial is by a boat from Ford island. This is as we were approaching the memorial.

This picture says it all. To the right is the USS Arizona, were the war began. To the left is the USS Missouri, were the war ended. There is a big brass plaque on the main deck of the USS Missouri where the Japanese signed the unconditional surrender. We took the tour of the USS Missouri as well. It was awesome.

Weather guessers in West texas really suck

The night before last the low was 22 degrees. Yesterday it was supposed to warm up to 36 and be partly cloudy. That is what they had forecasted. Yesterdays high was 28 degrees with freezing fog and freezing rain. Visibility was 1 mile. Missed that one by a tad.

The last two weeks have been hell for the weather guessers. They have missed every single weather event that they tried to predict. They predicted a major winter storm with 4" of snow that turned into sunny days. Then they predicted sunny days that left us 1-2" of snow. Hell, i can do as good a job as they can when it comes to guessing the weather.

Today they are predicting it to warm up from 28 degrees now to 65 degrees by 1500. I really don;t know if the temperature can climb that high in one day. They are also predicting strong southwesterly winds sustained at over 30 mph with gust up to 100mph. Are you shitting me?

The wind blows out here all the time. 30-40 mph winds is nothing to get your panties in a wad about. We have gust up to 60 mph on a regular basis. 100 mph is a little different story. 100 mph will change the direction of travel for a large vehicle. It might turn into a very interesting day.

07 December 2009

Ethical scenario

Here is a scenario:

You own a restaurant on a small parcel of land. The county zoning laws require that all dumpsters must be at least six feet away from the property line and must have housing built over them. You have complied with this zoning law for years.

The city passes an ordinance stating that "All dumpsters must be at least 30 feet from the rear entrance". To accommodate the city ordnance, you would have to have your dumpster five feet from the property line.

The county zoning inspector told you that he would sign off on your restaurant if you provide the food for his offices Christmas party. What would you do?

Soliciting your opinion

For years now i have had the same hair style. I wear a flat top. I like it, it fells normal and i think i look good in it. My wife wants me to grow my hair out. She said she would even like a mullet.

I don't know if i am too keen on this idea. Do you think having a mullet is a good idea or a bad idea?

The good ole days

Don't you wish this still applied to you?

Excellent Christmas gift

If anyone is looking for a last minute gift for me, I'll take this shirt in 3XL

Career Choices

Fairy tale for girls

This is proof we have become too dependant on our computers

Are you male or female?
To find out the answer, look down…..

Look down, not scroll down!

You ought to read the fine print

How to kill a city

I didn't write it but it is a good read.

Be prepared…..this could be the future of all major cities – - -Food for thought: For 15 years, from the mid 1970’s to 1990, I worked in Detroit, Michigan. I watched it descend into the abyss of crime, debauchery, gun play, drugs, school truancy, car-jacking, gangs and human depravity. I watched entire city blocks burned out. I watched graffiti explode on buildings, cars, trucks, buses and school yards. Trash everywhere! Detroiters walked through it, tossed more into it and ignored it.Tens of thousands and then, hundreds of thousands today exist on federal welfare, free housing and food stamps! With Aid to Dependent Children, minority women birthed eight to 10 and in once case, one woman birthed 24 kids as reported by the Detroit Free Press—all on American taxpayer dollars. A new child meant a new car payment, new TV and whatever mom wanted. I saw Lyndon Baines Johnson’s “Great Society” flourish in Detroit. If you give money for doing nothing, you will get thousand over thousand more hands out taking money for doing nothing.Mayor Coleman Young, perhaps the most corrupt mayor in America, outside of Richard Daley in Chicago, rode Detroit down to its knees. He set the benchmark for cronyism, incompetence and arrogance. As a black man, he said, “I am the MFIC.” The IC meant ‘in charge’. You can figure out the rest. Detroit became a majority black city with 67 percent African-Americans.As a United Van Lines truck driver for my summer job from teaching math and science, I loaded hundreds of American families into my van for a new life in another city or state. Detroit plummeted from 1.8 million citizens to 912,000 today. At the same time, legal and illegal immigrants converged on the city, so much so, that Muslims number over 300,000. Mexicans number 400,000 throughout Michigan, but most work in Detroit .As the Muslims moved in, the whites moved out. As the crimes became more violent, the whites fled. Finally, unlawful Mexicans moved in at a torrid pace. You could cut the racial tension in the air with a knife! Detroit may be one our best examples of multiculturalism: pure dislike and total separation from America .Today, you hear Muslim calls to worship blare via loudspeakers over the city like a new American Baghdad with hundreds of Islamic mosques in Michigan, paid for by Saudi Arabia oil money. High school flunk out rates reached 76 percent last June according to NBC’s Brian Williams. Classrooms resemble more foreign countries than America. English? Few speak it! The city features a 50 percent illiteracy rate and growing. Unemployment hit 28.9 percent in 2009 as the auto industry vacated the city.In this week’s Time Magazine October 4, 2009, “The Tragedy of Detroit: How a great city fell and how it can rise again,” I choked on the writer’s description of what happened.“If Detroit had been savaged by a hurricane and submerged by a ravenous flood, we’d know a lot more about it,” said Daniel Okrent. “If drought and carelessness had spread brush fires across the city, we’d see it on the evening news every night. Earthquake, tornadoes, you name it — if natural disaster had devastated the city that was once the living proof of American prosperity, the rest of the country might take notice.But Detroit , once our fourth largest city, now 11th and slipping rapidly, has had no such luck. Its disaster has long been a slow unwinding that seemed to remove it from the rest of the country. Even the death rattle that in the past year emanated from its signature industry brought more attention to the auto executives than to the people of the city, who had for so long been victimized by their dreadful decision-making.”As Coleman Young’s corruption brought the city to its knees, no amount of federal dollars could save the incredible payoffs, kick backs and illegality permeating his administration. I witnessed the city’s death from the seat of my 18-wheeler tractor trailer because I moved people out of every sector of decaying Detroit .“By any quantifiable standard, the city is on life support. Detroit ’s treasury is $300 million short of the funds needed to provide the barest municipal services,” Okrent said. “The school system, which six years ago was compelled by the teachers’ union to reject a philanthropist’s offer of $200 million to build 15 small, independent charter high schools, is in receivership. The murder rate is soaring, and 7 out of 10 remain unsolved. Three years after Katrina devastated New Orleans, unemployment in N.O. hit a peak of 11%. In Detroit , the unemployment rate is 28.9%. That’s worth spelling out: twenty-eight point nine percent.”At the end of Okrent’s report, and he will write a dozen more about Detroit , he said, “That’s because the story of Detroit is not simply one of a great city’s collapse. It’s also about the erosion of the industries that helped build the country we know today. The ultimate fate of Detroit will reveal much about the character of America in the 21st century. If what was once the most prosperous manufacturing city in the nation has been brought to its knees, what does that say about our recent past? And if it can’t find a way to get up, what does that say about our future?”As you read in my book review of Chris Steiner’s book, $20 Per Gallon, the auto industry won’t come back. Immigration will keep pouring more and more uneducated third world immigrants from the Middle East into Detroit —thus creating a beachhead for Islamic hegemony in America. If 50 percent illiteracy continues, we will see more homegrown terrorists spawned out of the Muslim ghettos of Detroit. Illiteracy plus Islam equals walking human bombs. You have already seen it in the Madrid, Spain, London, England and Paris, France with train bombings, subway bombings and riots. As their numbers grow, so will their power to enact their barbaric Sharia Law that negates republican forms of government, first amendment rights and subjugates women to the lowest rungs on the human ladder. We will see more “honor killings” by upset husbands, fathers and brothers that demand subjugation by their daughters, sisters and wives. Muslims prefer beheadings of women to scare the hell out of any other members of their sect from straying.Multiculturalism: what a perfect method to kill our language, culture, country and way of life.


Why is Lemon Juice made with artificial flavor and diswashing liquid made with real lemons?

04 December 2009

Would you vote for a person if this was their platform?

(1). Any use of the phrase: 'Press 1 for English' is immediately banned. English is the official language; speak it or wait outside of our borders until you can.
(2). We will immediately go into a two year isolationist attitude in order to straighten out the greedy big business posture in this country. America will allow NO imports, and we'll do no exports. We will use the 'Wal-Mart 's policy, 'If we ain't got it, you don't need it.' We'll make it here and sell it here!
(3). When imports are allowed, there will be a 100% import tax on it coming in here.
(4). All retired military personnel will be required to man one of the many observation towers located on the southern border of the United States (six month tour). They will be under strict orders not to fire on SOUTHBOUND aliens.
(5). Social Security will immediately return to its original state. If you didn't put nuttin in, you ain't gettin nuttin out. Neither the President nor any other politician will be able to touch it.
(6). Welfare. -- Checks will be handed out on Fridays, at the end of the 40 hour school week, the successful completion of a urinalysis test for drugs, and passing grades.
(7). Professional Athletes -- Steroids? The FIRST time you check positive you're banned from sports ... for life.
(8). Crime -- We will adopt the Turkish method, i.e., the first time you steal, you lose your right hand. There is no more 'life sentences'. If convicted of murder, you will be put to death by the same method you chose for the victim you killed: gun, knife, strangulation, etc.
(9). One export of ours will be allowed: wheat; because the world needs to eat. However, a bushel of wheat will be the exact price of a barrel of oil.
(10). All foreign aid, using American taxpayer money, will immediately cease and the saved money will help to pay off the national debt and, ultimately, lower taxes. When disasters occur around the world, we'll ask The American People if they want to donate to a disaster fund, and each citizen can make the decision as to whether, or not, it's a worthy cause.
(11). The Pledge of Allegiance will be said every day at school and every day in Congress.
(12). The National Anthem will be played at all appropriate ceremonies, sporting events, outings, etc.

You can't fix stupid

A man was driving when he saw the flash of a traffic camera.

He figured that his picture had been taken for exceeding the limit, even though he knew that he was not speeding...
Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed.
Now he began to think that this was quite funny, so he drove even slower as he passed the area again, but the traffic camera
again flashed. He tried a fourth time with the same result. He did this a fifth time and was now laughing when the camera
flashed as he rolled past, this time at a snail's pace...Two weeks later, he got five tickets in the mail for driving without a seat belt.

You can't fix stupid

03 December 2009

Why pay for two seats on an airplane?

When i see this picture i understand why the airlines want to charge two seats. I am usually the guy who gets stuck next to this person. I am a big guy myself and there is no way him and i could fit in a row on an airplane.

You know i don't really feel sorry for the guy. He let himself get that big and that was his choice. He must deal with the repercussions of being that huge. If i were him, i would drive as opposed to flying.

16 November 2009

Great orators of the democratic party

'One man with courage makes a majority.' - Andrew Jackson

'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.' - Franklin D. Roosevelt

'The buck stops here.' - Harry S. Truman

'Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country.'- John F. Kennedy

...and from today's Genius's:

'It depends what your definition of 'Sex' is?'' - Bill Clinton

'That Obama - I would like to cut his NUTS off.' - Jesse Jackson

'Those rumors are false ..... I believe in the sanctity of marriage.' - John Edwards

'I invented the Internet' - Al Gore

'The next Person that tells me I'm not religious, I'm going to shove my rosary beads up their ASS.' - Joe Biden

' America is--is no longer, uh, what it--it, uh, could be, uh, what it was once was....uh, and I say to myself, 'uh, I don't want that future, uh, uh for my children.' - Barack Obama

'I have campaigned in all 57 states.' - Barack Obama (Quoted 2008)

'You don't need God anymore, you have us Democrats.' - Nancy Pelosi (Quoted 2006)

'Paying taxes is voluntary.' - Sen. Harry Reid

'Bill is the greatest husband and father I know. No one is more faithful, true, and honest than he.' - Hillary Clinton (Quoted 1998)

13 November 2009

Daylight savings

Famous West Texas pickup lines

1) Did you fart? …cuz you just blew me away.
2) Are yer parents retarded? …cuz ya sure are special.
3) My love fer you is like diarrhea. I just can’t hold it in.
4) Do you have a library card? …cuz I’d like to sign you out
5) Is there a mirror in yer pants? …cuz I can see myself in ‘em.
6) You might not be the best lookin’ girl here, but beauty’s only a light switch away.
7) I know I’m not no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make yer bed-rock..
8) Yer eyes are as blue as window cleaner.
9) If yer gunna regret this in the mornin’, we kin sleep til afternoon.
AND.. the best for last!
10) Yer face reminds me of a wrench. Every time I think of it, my nuts tighten up.

06 November 2009

Sex Offenders and zero tolerance, both bullshit

Before i say anything, please keep in mind that i DO NOT condone in any way shape or form adults having sexual relations with children. Those people who engage in sexual acts with kids should be tortured in my opinion. My bitch about sex offenses is the extremely wide net they cast.

For example, if a man were to be caught banging a sheep, goat, horse or cow, he would have to register as a sex offender. This is bullshit!! Buggery does not an offender make!

If you look at the sex offender tracking list for Texas, it just gives a name and an address. How do you know if the criminal was with a person or an animal? Rhetorical question, you can't. This is why i think the sex offender reigistry is broken and should be fixed or done away with.

Being listed as a sex offender is too easy now a days. It has gotten to be as bad as drunk driving. Here is another example:

A bunch of guys went to Buffalo Wild Wings one Friday after work. Thye were having a few beers and the men's restroom had to be closed for a couple of hours. The line at the women's bathroom was very long so a guy goes in the alley behind a garbage dumpster to answer natures call. It was dark and he was concealing himself. A family walks by him and calls the cops. Because their was a small child with the family, his public indecency turns out to be a sex offense. Now he has to register as a sex offender. This is bullshit!!

This is exactly what happens when a society does away with common sense and adopts a ZERO Tolerance policy. People don't or can't make intelligent decisions so they defer to ZERO tolerance. This is bullshit!!

If a Boy Scout were to bring his Knife to school to show his friends and was caught with it, he would have to be expelled. Why? He meant no harm. He just wanted to show off his knife that he earned in the Boy Scouts. They would expel him because of the ZERO tolerance policy. So why can't the principal realize that there was no harm done and just talk to the kid?

The reason is because when Jamal brings a 9mm to school and threatens to kill someone, his mother will complain that little Boy Scout didn't get suspended so Jamal shouldn't get suspended as well. So, to avoid being called a racist, they suspend everyone. Zero tolerance is a copout for people who don't have any balls.

It is time for us to stand up and say enough! Let's do away with the stupid laws and pass real laws that make sense.

04 November 2009

The Lawyer's Party

This is very interesting! I never thought about it this way. Perhaps this is why so many physicians are conservatives or republicans.The Democratic Party has become the Lawyers' Party.
* Barack Obama is a lawyer.
* Michelle Obama is a lawyer.
* Hillary Clinton is a lawyer.
* Bill Clinton is a lawyer.
* John Edwards is a lawyer.
* Elizabeth Edwards is a lawyer.
Every Democrat nominee since 1984 went to law school (although Gore did not graduate). (Gore may not have graduated from 1st Grade)
Every Democrat vice presidential nominee since 1976, except for Lloyd Bentsen, went to law school.
Look at leaders of the Democrat Party in Congress:
* Harry Reid is a lawyer.
* Nancy Pelosi is a lawyer.

The Republican Party is different.
* President Bush is a businessman.
* Vice President Cheney is a businessman.

The leaders of the Republican Revolution:
* Newt Gingrich was a history professor.
* Tom Delay was an exterminator.
* Dick Armey was an economist.
* House Minority Leader Boehner was a plastic manufacturer.
* The former Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist is a heart surgeon.

Who was the last Republican president who was a lawyer? Gerald Ford, who left office 31 years ago and who barely won the Republican nomination as a sitting president, running against Ronald Reagan in 1976. The Republican Party is made up of real people doing real work, who are often the targets of lawyers. The Democrat Party is made up of lawyers. Democrats mock and scorn men who create wealth, like Bush and Cheney, or who heal the sick, like Frist, or who immerse themselves in history, like Gingrich. The Lawyers' Party sees these sorts of people, who provide goods and services that people want, as the enemies of America . And, so we have seen the procession of official enemies, in the eyes of the Lawyers' Party, grow. Against whom do Hillary and Obama rail? Pharmaceutical companies, oil companies, hospitals, manufacturers, fast food restaurant chains, large retail businesses, bankers, and anyone producing anything of value in our nation. This is the natural consequence of viewing everything through the eyes of lawyers. Lawyers solve problems by successfully representing their clients, in this case the American people. Lawyers seek to have new laws passed, they seek to win lawsuits, they press appellate courts to overturn precedent, and lawyers always parse language to favor their side. Confined to the narrow practice of law, that is fine. But it is an awful way to govern a great nation. When politicians as lawyers begin to view some Americans as clients and other Americans as opposing parties, then the role of the leg al system in our life becomes all-consuming. Some Americans become "adverse parties" of our very government. We are not all litigants in some vast social class-action suit. We are citizens of a republic that promises us a great deal of freedom from laws, from courts, and from lawyers. Today, we are drowning in laws; we are contorted by judicial decisions; we are driven to distraction by omnipresent lawyers in all parts of our once private lives. America has a place for laws and lawyers, but that place is modest and reasonable, not vast and unchecked. When the most important decision for our next president is whom he will appoint to the Supreme Court, the role of lawyers and the law in America is too big. When lawyers use criminal prosecution as a continuation of politics by other means, as happened in the lynching of Scooter Libby and Tom Delay, then the power of lawyers in America is too great. When House Democrats sue America in order to hamstring our efforts to learn what our enemies are planning to ! do to us, then the role of litigation in America has become crushing. We cannot expect the Lawyers' Party to provide real change, real reform or real hope in America Most Americans know that a republic in which every major government action must be blessed by nine unelected judges is not what Washington intended in 1789. Most Americans grasp that we cannot fight a war when ACLU lawsuits snap at the heels of our defenders. Most Americans intuit that more lawyers and judges will not restore declining moral values or spark the spirit of enterprise in our economy.. Perhaps Americans will understand that change cannot be brought to our nation by those lawyers who already largely dictate American society and business. Perhaps Americans will see that hope does not come from the mouths of lawyers but from personal dreams nourished by hard work. Perhaps Americans will embrace the truth that more lawyers with more power will only make our problems worse. The United States has 5% of the world's population and 66% of the world's lawyers! Tort (Legal) reform legislation has been introduced in congress several times in the last several years to limit punitive damages in ridiculous lawsuits such as 'spilling hot coffee on yourself and suing the establishment that sold it to you' and also to limit punitive damages in huge medical malpractice lawsuits. This legislation has continually been blocked from even being voted on by the Democrat Party. When you see that 97% of the political contributions from the American Trial Lawyers Association goes to the Democrat Party, then you realize who is responsible for our medical and product costs being so high! Now which party is the party of the people?


Way down in Louisiana , Boudreaux’s old lady had been pregnant for some time and now the time had come. So he brought her to the doctor and the doctor began to deliver the baby.
She had a little boy and the doctor looked over at Boudreaux and said, “Hey, Boudreaux,you just had you-sef a son! Ain’t dat grand!”
Boudreaux got excited by dis, but just then the doctor spoke up and said, “Hold on! We ain’t finished yet!” The doctor then delivered a little girl. He said, “Hey, Boudreaux, you got you-sef a daughter too! She a pretty lil ting.”
Boudreaux got kind of puzzled by this and then the doctor said, “Hold on, we still ain’t got doneyet!”
The doctor then delivered another boy and said,”Boudreaux, you just had you-sef another boy!”
When Boudreaux and his wife went home with their 3 children, he sat down with his wife and said,“Mama, you remember dat night what we run out of Vaseline and we had to use dat dere Tree-in-One Oil?” His wife said, “Yeah, I do!”
Boudreaux said, “Man, it’s a damn good ting we didn’t use no WD-Forty.”

02 November 2009

Sighting in my .50 BMG

A while back, my brother sent me some ballistic information for a .50 BMG. I went to the website, input the bullet information and it told me where the bullet should hit at defined ranges based on a 500 yard zero. All seemed right with the world.

When i was in Louisiana, we sighted the rifle at 25 yards. According to the charts, i should sight it 4" high at 25 yards and it should be dead on at 500 yards. We played around and got the windage perfect and then set the elevation. All seemed right with the world.

When i came back home to West Texas, a buddy of mine and myself went to his farm and stretched out 500 yards and set up a sheet of plywood as a target. First shot, nowhere on the target. Second shot, nowhere on the target. Something seemed amiss.

I moved up to the 200 yard mark and couldn't hit the target. I moved up to the 100 yard mark and the bullet was about 5 feet high. Just a wee bit off of what the ballistic calculator said it should be.

I zeroed it at 10" high at 100 yards and then moved back to the 500 yard range. The bullet was now on the target. Finally, $25 later no doubt. The wind picked up bad so we had to stop the shooting. I plan on going out to the range when the wind isn't blowing and zero it in tight at 500 yards. We were just fooling around and hit a 1" thick steel plate at 300 yards and put a hole in it with a FMJ. Very impressive.

27 October 2009

obama humor

Q: What’s the main problem with Barack Obama jokes?
A: His followers don’t think they’re funny and everyone else doesn’t think they’re jokes.

Q: Why does Barack Obama oppose the Second Amendment?
A: It stands between him and the First.

Q: What’s the difference between Rahm Emanuel and a carp?
A: One is a scum sucking bottom feeder and the other is a fish.

Q: What’s the difference between Greta Van Susteren and Barack Obama?
A: Greta only talks out of one side of her mouth.

Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A: A fund raiser.

Q: What’s the difference between Obama’s cabinet and a penitentiary?
A: One’s full of tax evaders, blackmailers and threats to society. The other is for prisoners.

Q: What’s the difference between a large pizza and the typical Obama backer?
A: The pizza can feed a family of four.
Q: What’s the difference between a zoo and the White House?
A: A zoo has an African lion and the White House has a lyin’ African.

Q: If Pelosi and Obama were in a boat and it started to sink, who would be saved?
A: America!

Q: What do you call the US after four years of Obama and the Liberal congress?
A: An Obama-nation.

Q: What’s the difference between Obama and Hitler?
A: Hitler wrote his own book.

Q: What’s another difference between Obama and Hitler?
A: Hitler got the Olympics to come to his country.

Q: Why doesn’t Obama pray?
A: It’s impossible to read the teleprompter with your eyes closed

26 October 2009

Attention Wal-Mart shoppers

Just a few observations intended to enhance everyone’s shopping experience.
We’ll break this down by category:
Parking Lot

1. My turn signals are neither an invitation nor a threat, but merely the courtesy of indicating my vehicular intentions. Deciphering their meaning is really quite simple. If the left corner of my vehicle is blinking, that means I’m turning left. The opposite holds true for the right corner. Simple, but powerful information. Learn it. Live it.

2. When you stroll down the center of the parking lane, don’t act surprised or affect emotional trauma when someone blips their horn at you, tailgates you, or even, indeed runs you over like a miscreant squirrel. I usually side with the pedestrian in pedestrian/vehicle misadventures, because, clearly they are the underdog. However, you don’t get much sympathy if you’re begging for it.

3. Fire lane does not mean “You can park here, if you promise to be back in less than an hour”. This is a particular irritant for me. I’d support legislation supporting setting non-emergency vehicles parked in the fire lane on fire. Then they’ll at least be grammatically correct.

4. Don’t stalk pedestrians looking to score a primo spot. Nobody likes that kind of pressure. Plus, traffic is backin up behind you. If you stalk me, I will see how long I can take to put away my purchases. If you’re impolite enough to blip your horn at me, I will then also check my voice messages, answer them, write down important stuff on my little dashboard notepad, and maybe catch a quick nap. I hate rudeness, but WILL reciprocate it.

5. If you shop at the Springville Walmart and get a little loose with your doors, and you drive something red, and you park next to a white Jeep, Mrs. Smaug is looking for you. She WILL find you. And WHEN she finds you, she will destroy you.

6. Buggies have a place. The place even has a cute name, “corral”. Learn it. Live it.

The Front Door

1. I know the grandeur that is Walmart is indeed awesome, but it is not necessary to stop cold, just inside the door, to try to take it all in. Particularly if there are other people behind you, attempting to accomplish what you just did, and it’s cold, raining, or they really have to pee.
2. Take a moment to look at the missing kids bulletin board. Who knows? Maybe you know something you didn’t know you knew, and it could lead to a happy homecoming. Just don’t block the door while you do it.
3. I’m not aware of any weight limit on the merry-go-round. Thus, if you’ve got a quarter, the world is your oyster. Shine on, you crazy diamond.


1. Someone saying, “Pardon me” while reaching for a can of Campbell’s Chunky that your buggy has blocked for more than 45 seconds is not an assault on your character or violation of your personal space.

2. Don’t act surprised when your buggy that has parked sideways, blocking the aisle entirely, while you hear all the gory details of Mabeline’s hysterectomy, is rammed across the store by another buggy.

3. A word to the wise: The buggy handle that your child is currently using as a teething ring was last handled by a high school dropout short order cook named Stu. Stu never, ever washes his hands.

4. You’ll forgive me if I don’t find it “cute” when your precious little darling is showing what a big boy/girl/cousin It they are, by driving the buggy. Particularly when they power slam the buggy into the backs of my ankles, rupturing both achilles tendons, and leaving me puddled in the floor, in tears. Or that I didn’t find it cute when junior subsequently ran over my fingers.

5. If you’re tall, and someone short asks you to reach something on a high shelf for them, don’t get all snooty. Just do it. But only if they say please and thank you. We’re living in a society here.

6. Let old people go first.

7. (Regarding #6) Old people. Longevity does not give you license to be rude. It wasn’t true when Truman was in the White House. It’s not true now.

Checking Out

1. Smile at the cashier. You never know. Maybe they were contemplating a career change (say, serial murder or terrorism, for example) and your pleasantness may have just saved countless lives. Again. You never know.

2. Don’t get defensive when the self-checkout makes you feel stupid. They make us all feel stupid. It’s by design.

3. No two credit/debit card swipey-things are alike. DON’T let it throw you. Just chuckle, and let the budding serial killer walk you through it.

4. If you’ve got a buggy full, and the kid behind you has a Fanta and a Snickers, for crying out loud, show some compassion.

I hope you’ll take these lessons to heart, and the world will be a happier place for it.

Hugs and kisses,

Keep being awesome!!!


This may prevent you from going blind. You know you have a problem when you get this as a stocking stuffer!!

New drug on the market

19 October 2009

Every day is a fight, sometimes i feel like it will never end

About two years ago the price of oil was over $100 a barrel and work was pouring in. The problem then was that employees knew they had us and could threaten us with their jobs for more money. Some got a raise and others were sent packing. We kept the best and we managed to cull the herd. It resulted in lost revenue because we didn't have the labor hours to sell but we increased our quality. In the end, it was the right choice.

Now we have a polar opposite of two years ago. We are trying our ass off to keep everyone busy so we don't have to lay anyone off. Some employees see this and appreciate it while others simply don't. It seems like a constant battle between profitability and bill ability. The bosses are watching so we must tow the line.

In a decreased economy such as ours, people are leery and afraid to rock the boat too hard. In times like these, replacements are ready to take your job. So after a day of juggling profits and employees, we go home and wonder what tomorrow will bring. This is no way to live.

So outside of work, you would think that life would be easy. That is not the case. If you watch the news you will hear that obama has a great plan to fix everything. Man that sounds good but as reasonable people, his plan just doesn't make sense. I listen to Rush and he tells me that obama is on the verge of causing the USA to collapse. Who do we believe?

What would happen to our country if everything was free like obama's health care? Someone has to pay for it.

So if I'm not worried about things at work i have to worry about the government giving everything i have away to those who don't want to work for it. Will this ever end?

George W may not have been the best President we ever had but at least under his administration, we didn't have all this gloom and doom. Sometimes i wish it would just go away but we know that it will not.

Every day is a fight. We have to keep our chins up and continue to move forward. When we stop moving forward, we will loose all that we fought for.


16 October 2009

Old Butch

Homer was in the fertilized egg business.> He had several hundred hens called "pullets,"> and 10 roosters to fertilize the eggs. He kept> records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup> pot and was replaced.>> This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny> bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a> different tone, so he could tell from a distance which> rooster was performing. Now he could sit on the porch> and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the> bells.>> Homer's favorite rooster, old Butch, was a> very fine specimen, but one morning he noticed old> Butch's bell hadn't rung at all! When he went to> investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy chasing> pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the> roosters coming, would run for cover.>>> To Homer's amazement, old Butch had> his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He> would sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the> next one. Homer was so proud of old Butch, he entered> him in the County Fair and Butch became an overnight> sensation among the judges.>> The> judges not only awarded old Butch the “No-Bell Piece> Prize”, but they also awarded him the “Pulletsurprise”> as well.>> Clearly old Butch was a Democrat in the> making. Who else but a Democrat could figure out how> to win two of the most highly coveted awards on the planet> by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and> screwing them when they weren't paying> attention.

12 October 2009

.50 BMG versus concrete test cylinder

Mud, Guns, Beer and lies. Redneck heaven.

This old stump decided to bite on to the axe when we were splitting it. We tried to get it out but we ended up breaking the handle off. No big deal, we set it aside and forgot about it. Later that night, about 0200 that morning actually, after the beer had replaced our good sense, i decided to set the stump down range and shoot the axe head out with the .50 BMG. I will admit that i missed the first few shots but eventually hit it. We never found a single piece of the axe head. I assume that since it is hardened steel, it just shattered. Oh, another reason i missed is because a hat was hanging on the axe head. I'll explain later.
Here is the hat that was on the axe head. This hat belongs to little bill who in the next post you see sitting in the middle of a mud hole. For whatever reason, it seemed like the right thing to do at the time, we decided to shoot his hat. We convinced little bill that when he fell into the mud hole, a huge snapping turtle went after him and it bit his hat. As of today he is convinced that he barley got out of there alive cause that big ass turtle was after him. I am still laughing my ass off!! Drunk people are so much fun to mess with.

My Rhino got so much mud in the radiator that it started running hot and we had to clean it. That is the first time i got it that muddy.

If you have never ridden a Rhino, i can not say enough good about them. This machine will go damn near anywhere. With the proper tires and a passionate driver, you can bust open any mud hole.

Camping trip 2009

My little mud buggy. It performed quite well this year.

This is what happens when you mix large amounts of beer, an inexperienced rider and a mudhole from hell. Not to mention a bunch of guys calling him names because he was hesitant.

Here is my Uncle trying to get through the mudhole from hell. He says the jeep stalled but i am not too sure. Maybe if he freshened up his skills, the jeep wouldn't stall.

Thi is another bog hole where the jeep stalled because it lost all forward motion. Some of the holes out there are bad and you have to be real ccareful or your pulling chains.

Here is a 3/4" thick steel plate that my .50 BMG was driving holes through. Shooting that gun is damn near orgasmic.

01 October 2009

Too funny

A Harley rider is passing the zoo, when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion’s cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents. The biker jumps off his bike, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch. Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and the biker brings her to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly.A New York Times reporter has watched the whole event. The reporter says, “Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I’ve seen a man do in my whole life.”
The biker replies, “Why, it was nothing, really; the lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger, and acted as I felt right.”
The reporter says, “Well, I’m a journalist from the New York Times, and tomorrow’s paper will have this story on the front page. So, what do you do for a living and what political affiliation do you have?”
The biker replies, “I’m a U.S. Marine and a Republican.”
The following morning the biker buys The New York Times to see if it indeed brings news of his actions, and reads, on front page:

Secret to a happy marriage

The two biggest secrets to a happy marriage are this:

When your wrong, admit it

When your right, shut up

30 September 2009

Business Math

I am completing this semester in a Business Math course with a 98.6 average. This was one of the hardest courses i have taken yet.

We had to learn about simple interest, compounding interest, annuities, annuities due and mortgage amortization schedules.

Most of it was fairly simple but the compounding interest loans that are for 90 days or less becomes a bit fun to work out.

The professor and I didn't see eye to eye most of the time but at least he listened to me, which i thought was cool.

I am thinking of taking an advanced algebra class, has anyone ever taken one and is it a good idea?

Good news and bad news

I once heard a joke where the husband told his wife to tell him something that would make him happy and sad at the same time.

She says OK, you have the biggest penis of all your friends

Someone told me something the other day that made me feel both happy and sad. Someone asked me the other day if i was loosing weight. I am glad they noticed.

The sad part is that i have been working on loosing weight for 3 months and have lost 27 pounds as of yesterday. How fat must i be for it to take loosing 27 pounds for someone to notice?


Just keep going i guess

It might depress me but i know that depression is just anger without motivation

25 September 2009

Only an idiot lets a fool keep their money

SO…you took FEDZILLA up on its offer of $4500 dollars to trade in your old “Clunker” (interesting choice of words)? Well, let’s see who got the best of that “deal”…
If you traded in a clunker worth $3500, you got $4500 off for an apparent “savings” of $1000. You could have gotten $3,500 if you had just traded the car in. So you really are $1,000 ahead (depending on your clunker’s value) at this point. Not too bad…
However, you WILL have to pay taxes on the $4500 come April 15th (something that no auto dealer will tellyou). If you are in the 30% tax bracket, you will pay $1350 on that $4500.
So, rather than save $1000, you will actually pay an extra $350 to the feds. In addition, you traded in a car that was most likely paid for. Now you have 4 or 5 years of payments on a car that you did not need, trading in a “clunker” that was costing you less to run than the payments that you will now be making. Even if you save $1,000. dollars a year in gas due to better mileage, you’re still gonna be in the red for five years….hello?
But wait, it gets even better: you also got ripped off by the dealer. For example, the month before the “cash for clunkers” program started, every dealer here in LA was selling the Ford Focus with all the goodies including A/C, auto transmission, power windows, etc for $12,500 because competition was stiff due to poor sales from the stalled economy.
When “cash for clunkers” came along, they stopped discounting them and instead sold them at the list price of $15,500. So, you paid $3000 more than you would have the month before. Honda, Toyota , and Kia played the same list price game that Ford and Chevy did. Now let’s do the math…
You traded in a car worth: $3500. You got a discount of: $4500———Net so far +$1000
But you have to pay: $1350 in taxes on the $4500——–Net so far: -$350(that’s minus…in the red)
And you paid: $3000 more than the car was selling for the month before———-Net Loss: -$3350
We could also add in the additional taxes (sales tax, state tax, dealer prep, etc.) on the extra $3000 that you paid for the car, along with the Five years of interest on the car loan; but let’s just stop here while you kick yourself. Suffice it to say that those costs will be much higher than any savings you get from “better mileage”.
So who actually made out on the deal? FEDZILLAcollected taxes on the car along with taxes on the $4500 they”gave” you. The car dealers made an extra $3000 or more on every car they sold along with the kickbacks from the manufacturers and the loan companies. Manufacturers got to dump lots of cars they could not give away the month before. Lots of good or repairable used cars got taken off the market, crushed and sold asscrap metal to (ready for this?)
CHINA! (Look it up…)
And the poor consumer got saddled with even more debt that they cannot afford.
FEDZILLA’S merry men (who promised that people making less than $250,000 would pay “not one red cent more in taxes”) will make millions in new tax revenues after convincing Joe Consumer that he was getting $4500 in “free” money from the “government” In fact, Joe was giving away his $3500 car and paying an additional $3350 for the privilege. Chicago politics gone global… with an agenda.

24 September 2009


A buddy of mine called me yesterday and told me this joke. I just had to share it with you.

What has eight boobs and seven teeth?

Shift change at the waffle house in Odessa TX.

14 September 2009

Marriage License

The other day, before September 2nd, Karin and I go to get our marriage license. We were both off that day and had a list of errands we had to get done before leaving for Hawaii. I had been cutting the grass so i was wearing typical yard work clothing and Karin was dressed about the same.

We leave at about 11 t go to the courthouse and then we were going to hit Grahm's Pharmacy for lunch, they make an awesome peanut butter/chocolate shake. We load up and asked me if i had the cash for the license. Here in Texas, they do not accept anything but cash at the courthouse. When we get to the courthouse, it takes me forever to pass thru the metal detector. I had on steel toed boots, various knives, everything you would have for working around the house.

After the deputy clears me, he says "make sure you got $70 cash for the license". I stopped and looked at Karin. She asked what was wrong. I opened my wallet and all i had was $46. She lets me know that she told me it was $70 blah blah and i responded that i thought it was $35.

So she opens her purse and between the two of us we have $70 even. I was like, oh yeah, let's go do this. We get in there and the clerk says that it will cost $72. We had to go thru her purse and paid the additional $2 with nickels, dimes, quarters and even penny's.

I can only imagine what the clerk thought. Here we are dressed like vagrants and having to scrimp Penny's to buy a marriage license. She gave us the hairy eyeball the entire time. She was surprised when i put my address down and it didn't include a lot number from the trailer park.

So that is how our marriage started, both of us pulling together to raise the funds for a license. Of course when she told her Dad, he rode me like a rent mule. Wanted to know why his daughter would marry someone who couldn't afford a marriage license. I still haven't heard the last of it.

Cash for Clunkers

I didn’t check the math on this, so it’s possibly overstated. But you can see where they are going with it.
A vehicle at 15 mpg and 12,000 miles per year uses 800 gallons a year of gasoline.
A vehicle at 25 mpg and 12,000 miles per year uses 480 gallons a year.
So, the average clunker transaction will reduce US gasoline consumption by 320 gallons per year.
They claim 700,000 vehicles so that’s 224 million gallons / year.That equates to a bit over 5 million barrels of oil.5 million barrels of oil is about ¼ of one day’s US consumption.And, 5 million barrels of oil costs about $350 million dollars at $75/bbl.So, we all contributed to spending $3 billion to save $350 million.How good a deal was that???

But, the government will probably do a great job with healthcare!!OR WILL IT?

Family Status Change

The terrible view we had to endure.

For those who don't already know, I have had a family status change. September 2nd Karin and I got married and flew to Hawaii on September 3rd for our honeymoon. We spent 6 days in Waikiki Beach and had a most excellent time. We were on the 11th floor of a corner room at The Outrigger Reef on the Beach . One balcony was a view of the sun setting on the beach and the Northern balcony was a view of downtown Waikiki. It was a very romantic setting.

We pretty much kept the wedding date to ourselves as we didn't want anyone to feel obligated to attend. We had a quite simply ceremony and then hauled ass to Hawaii.
Here are a few tips for those thinking of going to Hawaii:
1- Take more money, you will need it.
2 -Pay for the upgrades. It is worth every penny.
3 -Expect to see a lot of Mexican and Cajun food.
4 -Seafood is the main choice of fare on the islands.
5- 8 hours of flying from Dallas is a bitch!!
6- Try to island hop while there.
7- Hawaii has a population of 1.3 million. 950 thousand are in Honolulu.
8- Pearl Harbor is awesome. Take the tour and see the USS Arizona and the USS Missouri berthed right next to the Arizona.
9-Hawaiian population is 25% native, 25% military and 50% people who moved there.
10- I strongly suggest the helicopter tour and dinner cruise combination. It is excellent.

31 August 2009

Too funny

To bad it's true

Look at the book he is readingl, WTF?


It's official, we are all morons

The U.S. Postal Service was established in 1775 – you have had 234 years to get it right; it is broke.

Social Security was established in 1935 – you have had 74 years to get it right; it is broke.

Fannie Mae was established in 1938 – you have had 71 years to get it right; it is broke..

War on Poverty started in 1964 – you have had 45 years to get it right; $1 trillion of our money is confiscated each year and transferred to “the poor”; it hasn’t worked.

Medicare and Medicaid were established in 1965 – you’ve had 44 years to get it right; they’re broke

Freddie Mac was established in 1970 – you have had 39 years to get it right; it is broke

Trillions of dollars in the massive political payoff called the TARP bill of 2009 shows NO sign of working.

And finally to set a new record:
“Cash for Clunkers” was established in 2009 and went broke in 2009! It took good dependable cars (that were the best some people could afford) replaced them with high priced (people who couldn’t afford to are now making payments) mostly Japanese models so a good percentage of the profits from the sales went out of the country. And lastly, the American taxpayers are now going to be dinged with paying for yet 3 billion more dollars of our governments experiments to make our wallets even thinner.

So with a perfect 100% failure rate and a record that proves that “services” you shove down our throats are failing faster and faster, you want Americans to believe you can be trusted with a government-run health care system? 15% of our economy? Are you crazy?

Truly, the inmates are running the asylum! And what does this say about voters who put such pond scum in office? It takes a village of morons to elect morons.

Maybe we need to let others in on this brilliant record before 2010 and just vote against incumbents.

27 August 2009

Question for all you smart ones out there

obama has been in office for 8 months. The health care bill he submitted is over 1,000 pages long. Where did he find the time to write that bill in 8 months?

If he didn't write it, where did it come from? It seems to me that he does in fact have a plan in his mind to socialize America.

He has been all over the world apologizing for America, bowing to kings and kissing Muslim ass, now he wants to destroy us. I firmly believe that he is trying to destroy America.

Now he is going after CIA interrogators who may have done bad things to bad people. Who gives a shit? I really don't care what they did to terrorist who killed 3,000 people on 9-11.

I am really worried about where we are heading.

On a good note, the senate is no longer filibuster proof with that murderous ted kennedy gone. I am sure he will receive his just rewards.

25 August 2009

The stupidity of hope

What a title huh? Hope as defined by Webster is: a feeling of what is wanted will happen, desire accompanied by expectation.

What a load of shit. Hope has no tomorrow. I will prove it. Tomorrow i hope i win the lottery. Tomorrow never comes. Who believes in hope?

Did Bill Gates hope to get rich? Did Donald Trump hope to get rich? Did i hope to meet someone?

People who DO, DO NOT wait for hope to make it happen.

I hope i get a good job. Can you get that good job if you stay at home or do you have to go out and find it? Well duh!

What do all successful people have in common? They didn't hope for it, they earned it.

Why do people sit around on their ass and hope things will change? Nothing changes unless you make it change.

The next time you hear someone say they hope for something, ask them what they are doing to assure themselves of that desired outcome.

Instead of hope, have them wish for luck. Luck is simply preparation meeting opportunity. If they aren't prepared, hope is a big waste of time.

24 August 2009

A man named Katz

An attractive, widowed Jewish lady, was sunbathing on an almostdeserted beach in Ft. Myers Florida .
She watched an attractive man about her age, in great shape,walk up, place his blanket on the sand near hers and beginreading a book.
Smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation with him. “How are you today?”
“Fine, thank you,” he responded, and turned back to his book.
“I love the beach. Do you come here often?” she asked.
“First time since my wife passed away two years ago,” he replied and turned back to his book.
“I sorry to hear that. My husband passed away three years agoand it is very lonely,”she countered. “Do you live around here?”
“Yes, I live over in Cape Coral ,” he answered, and againresumed reading.
Trying to find a topic of common interest, she persisted,” Do you like pussy cats?”
With that, the man dropped his book, came over to her blanket,tore off her swimsuit and gave her the most passionate lovemaking of her life.
When the cloud of sand began to settle, she gasped and askedthe man, “How did you know that was what I wanted?”
The panting man replied. “How did you know my name was Katz?”

19 August 2009

Latest Texas immigration poll

The latest telephone poll taken by Texas Governor Perry's office asked
whether people who live in Texas think illegal immigration is a serious problem:

29 % of respondents answered: "Yes, it is a serious problem."
71% of respondents answered: "No, no es un problema."

Change, it isn't always what you think it is.

There’s an old sea story in the Navy about a ship’s Captain who inspected his sailors and afterward told the Chief Bosun his men smelled bad.

The Captain suggested it would help if the sailors whould change underwear occasionally.

The Chief responded,“Aye, Aye sir, I’ll see to it immediately!”

The Chief went straight to the sailors berthing deck and announced, “The Captain thinks you guys smell bad and wants you to change your underwear.”

“Pittman, you change with Jones, McCarthy, you change with Witkowski, and Brown, you change with Schultz. Now get to it!”

The Moral:

Someone may be promising “change” in Washington, but don’t count on things smelling any better!!!

18 August 2009

A robot bartender

A man walked into a very high-tech bar. As he sat down on a stool he noticed that the bartender was a robot. The robot clicked to attention and asked, "Sir, what will you have?" The man thought a moment then replied, "A martini please." The robot clicked a couple of times and mixed the best martini the man had ever had. The robot then asked, "Sir, what is your IQ?" The man answered "oh, about 164." The robot then proceeded to discuss the 'theory of relativity', 'inter-steller space travel', 'the latest medical break throughs', etc....... The man was most impressed.

He left the bar but thought he would try a different tact.. He returned and took a seat. Again the robot clicked and asked what he would have? "A Martini please." Again it was superb. The robot again asked "what is your IQ sir?" This time the man answered, "Oh about 100". So the robot started discussing Nascar racing, the latest basketball scores, and what to expect the Dodgers to do this weekend.

The guy had to try it one more time. So he left, returned and took a stool.... Again a martini, and the question, "What is your IQ?"?? This time the man drawled out "Uh..... bout 50". The robot clicked then leaned close and very slowly asked, "A-r-e y-o-u p-e-o-p-l-e s-t-i-l-l h-a-p-p-y w-i-t-h O-B-A-M-A?

15 August 2009

Another Moral Question

I am learning a little about medicare and medicaid. Medicare is for the older folks and Medicaid is for those who aren't retired but the government covers them.

Here is my dilemma, how much is a human life worth?

A 15 year old girl is on medicaid and pregnant. She is 34 weeks and goes to the hospital. The doctors at this hospital, regionally renowned, decide that the baby has fluid on the brain and must operated on while in the womb. The local doctors say it is outside their area of expertise and consult with a pediatric neurosurgeon in Dallas. Everyone agrees that the surgery will allow the child to be born and live a normal life. Without the surgery, the child will not be "normal" when birthed and may require extended medical services for an extended time.

Should we, the taxpayer, pay for the airlift to Dallas, the surgery by a world class doctor, and the birthing in Dallas. Let's assume the total bill will be $500,000.

What are your thoughts?

11 August 2009

Story telling at its finest

There is always more than one way to tell a story. Depending on the desired outcome determines how you spin the story. I being in sales, learned a long time ago that it's not so much what you have to say, but how you say it.

The following is an example of how to properly tell a story.

The Facts:

'Remus Reid was a horse thief, sent to Montana Territorial Prison 1885, escaped 1887, robbed the Montana Flyer six times. Caught by Pinkerton detectives, convicted and hanged in 1889.'

Now if you were to read the above sentence you might decide that ole Remus wasn't the sort of person you would want to be affiliated with.

Without telling a single lie, here is another version from a slightly different point of view:

'Remus Reid was a famous cowboy in the Montana Territory. His business empire grew to include acquisition of valuable equestrian assets and intimate dealings with the Montana railroad. Beginning in 1885, he devoted several years of his life to government service, finally taking leave to resume his dealings with the railroad.In 1887,he was a key player in a vital investigation run by the renowned Pinkerton Detective Agency. In 1889, Remus passed away during an important civic function held in his honor when the platform upon which he was standing collapsed.'

That is the kind of salesman i try to hire!!!

10 August 2009

07 August 2009

6 things dirtier than a toilet, other than your mama! Ha

One person in the office gets the flu, and soon everybody in their row has it. And as paranoid as people think they are about germs these days, with their antibacterial lotions and careful hand-washing after even briefly touching their genitals, the truth is most of us still have no freaking idea where we're picking up these germs.

But if you carried around a microscope everywhere you went, there are a whole lot of everyday things you'd be a lot more hesitant to rub all over your hands.

The most unpleasant place most of us will visit this week is a nice, fragrant, poorly-maintained public restroom. Now, it's no surprise to find the floor and piss-splattered toilet seat are crawling with germs (how many of you still haven't figured out how to flush the toilet with your foot?) but that's OK, because you still remember to pump that liquid soap onto your hands and wash the hell out of them before you leave.

Or it would be OK, if some of the soap wasn't also full of germs. A study conducted by researcher Jonathon Sexton revealed about a quarter of the of the soap dispensers in public restrooms were pumping out viable bacteria with each glob. Yeah, the stuff that makes you sick was in the soap.

The problem is most of these places were using refillable soap dispensers, so contamination was happening when the filth-ridden employees were doing the refilling (the fancier kind of dispensers with sealed, disposable bags inside were clean).
Designed to kill.

Of course, soap is still soap and it's our number one defense against more harmful forms of bacteria, like whatever you got on your hand after it ripped through that ghetto brand toilet paper public restrooms use that seems to be cobbled together from whispers and recycled Chinese newsprint. So it's kind of a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation. So Keep That in Mind When...

...some guy gives you a dirty look if you fail to wash your hands after just peeing. Look, if you showered in the morning it's unlikely your dick is very contaminated. If anything you've probably made your clean dick a little dirtier by touching it with your filthy hands.

And both will wind up cleaner than that guy's hands who, after issuing his disapproval, touches one of the dirtiest surfaces ever invented by man: the handle on a bathroom faucet. Then he compounds the infestation when he touches the handle on the restroom door on his way out. Yet, if you so much as use your dick to open the door just one time, you're the bad guy.

What does your wallet have in common with the local crack den? It's packing nothing but filth and narcotics, that's what.
A 2008 study showed cocaine traces on bills from all over the world, with American money taking the gold. U-S-A! U-S-A!

That's right, some bills tested contained up to 1300 micrograms of pure Bolivian marching powder. If any of you pulled out your wallet and started trying to hitch the reindeer off of a 20, you can put it back. A microgram is about a millionth of a teabag full of cocaine, so unless you've got a million bills to lick you're not going to be getting very high and if you do have a million handy, we assume your army of strippers have already writhed across them all and sanitized them with boob sweat.

The point, however, is that it gives you an idea of the sponge-like ability for money to absorb whatever it comes in contact with, namely drugs and the germs from the hands of everyone who handled it (and whatever else they were handling) before you. So it's not just blow you're carting around; it's everything from chicken guts to common household ball sweat (remember that every dollar bill you touch has potentially been in a Chippendale's dancer's G-string at some point).

Also, that wallet you use to house your cash? The fact that it's stuffed into your pocket close to your warm body helps incubate any germs that were already festering on your two bucks, ensuring it stays as dirty as possible. So Keep That in Mind When...

...people flip out at Burger King when they see a guy sneeze near the grill, but don't blink when the cashier who has handled thousands of diseased bills that morning is the one who stacks the food on your tray.

You probably didn't know there is roughly 0.1 gram of fecal matter in an average pair of underwear. On any given day you and everyone you cross paths with are basically shit Sherpas, carting that stuff to and fro. Granted 0.1 grams doesn't sound like much but that means you can expect up to 100 million E. coli bacteria floating around in a standard wash load containing undies which is, wait for it, a shitload.

Leading germaphobe, Charles Gerba, conducted a study on washing machines in Tucson and Tampa Bay and found coliform bacteria in 60 percent and E. coli in 10 percent of the machines tested, confirming that either the machines aren't all that great at killing your poop germs, or that people in Tucson and Tampa shit in their washers.

You can wash your first load with bleach and hot water and you'll reduce the amount of bacteria that will survive the wash. Or if you don't like the idea of using bleach you can just wash your drawers separately in their own little poop stew. Otherwise, that nice, fresh-smelling load of laundry has some invisible residue waiting for you. So Keep That in Mind When...

...you see Snuggles the Fabric Softener bear rubbing his little face all over the newly "clean" laundry. Enjoy our shit, bear.

Your Computer Keyboard
If you're reading this, you are either using a computer, near a computer or looking at one over the shoulder of your neighbor across the way through high powered binoculars or perhaps the scope of a sniper rifle. Lucky for you, that third choice is the cleanest of the bunch.

OK, so a lot of you knew this already suspected your keyboards were filthy (many offices are even handing out disinfectant wipes once a month to have employees wipe theirs down). But what's amazing is just how freaking dirty it is.

While the average office toilet seat has around 49 germs per square inch, that keyboard of yours averages 3,925.
So basically what we're saying is if the only thing you used your computer for was to shit on it, it would be cleaner than it currently is.

Experts say touching Wayne Knight's computer would land you in quarantine.
How could this possibly be true? Well, because toilets get cleaned regularly, even the aforementioned public toilet at the train station gets a occasional pass with a wet nap from a civil servant. Almost none of us think to do it with our office keyboard, and certainly not with the frequency it would require to keep it truly clean.

So all of the filthy shit we touch throughout the day accumulates on those keys over weeks and weeks. Your dog rolls in poop, you pet your dog, you go to work, you start typing. And so on. So Keep That in Mind When...

...you see people go through the trouble of carefully laying toilet paper around the edge of a toilet seat before they take a dump, carefully scrubbing their hands afterward, then happily going back to their desk and eating a doughnut while tapping away on their filth-encrusted keyboard.

Your Phone
Another seemingly innocuous device that will out germ a toilet seat, and even the aforementioned keyboard, is your telephone. This also shouldn't be too surprising, as all people do with phones is press them firmly to not one but two head orifices. How could that not end in horror movie-level grossness?
But again, the surprise is just how filthy the things get.

Remember how the average office toilet seat had 49 germs per square inch? Well it seems the average conversation is a lot dirtier with the office phone weighing in at a whopping 25,127 germs per square inch. Yeah, about 10 times as bad as your keyboard. Holy shit! Don't germs like, become visible at that point? So Keep That in Mind When...

...you know how when an angry customer demands to "talk to your supervisor," your response is to say, "Sure, let me get you the boss" and then shove the phone down the front of your pants? That almost certainly leaves the phone cleaner than it was before.

So, seriously, what could possibly be dirtier than that?

Your Mouth
Much of the filth you come across in the day can be traced back to one wet, dirty hole. In order to narrow the list of potential suspects down, we'll just tell you it's your mouth. And everyone else's mouth. That gaping hole in your head is like a germ cannon.

It really is the perfect storm of filth: warm, wet and in direct contact with the outside world every time you open it. And then you consider our nasty habits like chewing on ink pens, biting dirty fingernails, leaving bits of food between our teeth and smoking half-finished cigarettes we find in the gutter (you've done this, right?), and you suddenly realize what a freaking miracle our immune system is.

So how does it compare to our toilet seat (again, 49 germs per square inch)? Experts simply leave the number at "millions." But let's put it this way: The average mouth houses around 700 different species of bacteria in its teeming microbial rainforest, with God knows how many members of each species wiggling around in there.

Damn, those Listerine commercials weren't lying.

This is one reason why a bite from a human is more likely to make you sick than a bite from an animal. It's not that dogs have cleaner mouths (they don't) but that the germs in a human mouth are the kind designed to infect humans. So Keep That in Mind When...

...you see those anti-drug PSAs that talk about the dangers of marijuana, but fail to mention the need to wipe down that filthy bong you're passing around. Fuck the weed, man, get some disinfectant on that thing. Some of these people you're sharing with are hippies.