31 January 2008

The Dynamics of Life

I once wrote a post that all Love ends in Heart ache. The person you Love either dies or leaves you. I have experienced that heartache. I came home from work on Tuesday night, 1-29-08, and found my wife had passed away. I have to tell you that at that exact moment, i felt my life shift course to a different heading.

Everyone ask me how i feel and how am i doing. How i feel is simple. I feel like a lost a major piece of my soul. It is an empty lonely feeling. How am i doing? About as good as could be expected i reckon.

Making the funeral arrangements wasn't as bad as i thought it would be. Actually it was easier than i thought. Just time consuming. I did loose it when i went through her closet to pick out her clothes and her jewelery box for her jewelery. That was probably the hardest.

I find myself pacing a lot. The dogs sit at the door and wait patiently for her return. I find myself standing there looking for I don't know what.

Her Obit can be viewed at www.npwelch.com

28 January 2008

Rules of Texas :

1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.

2. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road." I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

3. They are cattle & oil wells. That's what they smell like to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-20 and I-10 go east and west, I-35 goes north and south. Pick one.

4. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 cotton strippers that are driven only 3 weeks a year.

5. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.

6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of doves are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at! The time.

7. Yeah, we eat catfish & crawfish. You really want sushi & caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.

8. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.

9. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age.

10. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu.. Order steak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.

11. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and Picante Sauce!! Oh, yeah, we don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat. IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!! Chili was born and bred in San Antonio and real chili never met a bean!

12. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

13. College and High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.

14. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -- it spooks the fish.

15. Colleges? Try Texas Tech, Texas A&M or University of Texas They come outta there with an education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at passing pickups when they come for the holiday!

16. We have more folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines, than any other state, so "Don't Mess with Texas." If you do, you will get whupped by the best.

17. Always remember what our great governor Sam Houston once said: "Texas can make it without the United States, but the United States can't make it without Texas !"

Texas is the greatest state ever!!If you don't share this with someone in the next 10 min. You are not a true Texan !!!!!!



Politicians are the only people in the world who create problems and then campaign against them.

Have you ever wondered why, if both the Democrats and the Republicans are against deficits, we have deficits? Have you ever wondered why, if all the politicians are against inflation and high taxes, we have inflation and high taxes?

You and I don't propose a federal budget. The president does. You and I don't have the Constitutional authority to vote on appropriations. The House of Representatives does. You and I don't write the tax code. Congress does. You and I don't set fiscal policy. Congress does. You and I don't control monetary policy. The Federal Reserve Bank does.

One hundred senators, 435 congressmen, one president and nine Supreme Court justices - 545 human beings out of the 300 million - are directly, legally, morally and individually responsible for the domestic problems that plague this country.

I excluded the members of the Federal Reserve Board because that problem was created by the Congress. In 1913, Congress delegated its Constitutional duty to provide a sound currency to a federally chartered but private central bank.

I excluded all the special interests and lobbyists for a sound reason. They have no legal authority. They have no ability to coerce a senator, a congressman or a president to do one cotton- picking thing. I don't care if they offer a politician $1 million dollars in cash. The politician has the power to accept or reject it.

No matter what the lobbyist promises, it is the legislator's responsibility to determine how he votes.


Those 545 human beings spend much of their energy convincing you that what they did is not their fault. They cooperate in this common con regardless of party.

What separates a politician from a normal human being is an excessive amount of gall. No normal human being would have the gall of a SPEAKER, who stood up and criticized G.W. BUSH for creating deficits.

The president can only propose a budget. He cannot force the Congress to accept it. The Constitution, which is the supreme law of the land, gives sole responsibility to the House of Representatives for originating and approving appropriations and taxes.

Who is the speaker of the House? She is the leader of the majority party. She and fellow Democrats, not the president, can approve any budget they want. If the president vetoes it, they can pass it over his veto.


It seems inconceivable to me that a nation of 300 million cannot replace 545 people who stand convicted -- by present facts - of incompetence and irresponsibility.

I can't think of a single domestic problem, from an unfair tax code to defense overruns, that is not traceable directly to those 545 people.

When you fully grasp the plain truth that 545 people exercise power of the federal government, then it must follow that what exists is what they want to exist.

If the tax code is unfair, it's because they want it unfair. If the budget is in the red, it's because they want it in the red. If the Marines are in IRAQ, it's because they want them in IRAQ.

There are no insoluble government problems. Do not let these 545 people shift the blame to bureaucrats, whom they hire and whose jobs they can abolish; to lobbyists, whose gifts and advice they can reject; to regulators, to whom they give the power to regulate and from whom they can take this power.

Above all, do not let them con you into the belief that there exist disembodied mystical forces like "the economy," "inflation" or "politics" that prevent them from doing what they take an oath to do.

Those 545 people, and they alone, are responsible. They, and they alone, have the power. They, and they alone, should be held accountable by the people who are their bosses - provided the voters have the gumption to manage their own employees. We should vote all of them out of office and clean up their mess.

24 January 2008

Howdy from the Windy City

Yep, you guessed it. i am in Chicago. It is Dang Cold. I am talking 0 degrees. Windchill is -10. Now that is really cold.

I am up here going thru a 2-day seminar on Cause Map Training. I have to say that this is one of the best classes i have had. Once you learn Cause and Effect and you learn how to map it, the sky is the limit.

You can use it for accident investigation, inventory issues, communication break downs and just about anything. We also learned about Process mapping.

Well yall have fun and i will be back in West Texas tomorrow.

18 January 2008

Affirmative Action at work

In response to a number of complaints that there are not enough Black and Hispanic peoples appearing on TV, the Network has decided that in the future - 'America's Most Wanted' will be shown 'TWICE' weekly.

17 January 2008

A Duck Story

A duck hunter was out enjoying a nice morning on the marsh when he decided to relieve himself.

He walked over to a tree and propped up his gun. Just then a gust of wind blew, the gun fell over, and discharged... shooting him in the genitals.

Several hours later, lying in a hospital bed he was approached by his doctor. 'Well sir, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you are going to be OK, the damage was local to your groin, there was very little internal damage, and we were able to remove all of the buck shot. The bad news is that there was some pretty extensive damage done to your penis. I'm going to have to refer you to my brother.'

'Oh, well I guess that isn't too bad,' the man replied 'is your brother a plastic surgeon?'

'Not exactly.' answered the doctor. 'He's a flute player in the local symphony....He's going to teach you where to put your fingers so you don't piss in your eye'

14 January 2008

Propane Cannon

Propane Cannon

The Husband Store

A store that sells new husbands has just opened in
New York City, where a woman may go to choose a new
husband. At the entrance is a description of how the
store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six
floors and the value of the products increase as
the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may
choose any item from a particular floor, or may
choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot
go back down except to exit the building!"

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a
husband. On the first floor the sign on the door

"Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs."

The second floor sign reads:

"Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids."

The third floor sign reads:

"Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids and are
Drop dead Gorgeous."

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

"Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop
dead Gorgeous and Help With Housework."

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand
it!" Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the
sign reads:

"Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop
dead Gorgeous, Help with housework and Have a Strong
Romantic Streak."

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth
floor and the sign reads:

"Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor.
There are no men on this floor. This floor exists
solely as proof that women are impossible to please.

Thank you for shopping at the New Husband Store."

To avoid gender bias accusations, the store's owner
also opens a New Wives' store just across the street...

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money.

The third through sixth floors have never been visited.

Social Security Sex

Two men were talking.

“So, how’s your sex life?”

“Oh, nothing special. I’m having Social Security sex.”

“Social Security sex?”

“Yeah, you know: I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!”

11 January 2008

Need some help

Can anyone help me load an AVI file? Everytime i attempt it, it will not work.

10 January 2008

What a Conundrum

It was a terrible nightmare, the most horrible one you could imagine. In the nightmare I found myself nude in bed, and I was looking at a mirror on the ceiling, and I discovered that I am a Negro, and I’m circumcised! Quickly I jumped up, found my pants and looked in the pockets to find my driver license photo - and it was that same color. Black. No, no, God no, it can’t be!! I felt myself being very depressed, downcast, sitting in a chair. But it’s a wheelchair!!

That means, of course, besides being black and Jewish, I’m also disabled!!! I said to myself, aloud “This is impossible. It’s impossible that I should be black and Jewish and disabled.”

“It’s the pure and holy truth”, whispers someone from behind me. I turn around, and it’s my Boyfriend. Just what I needed!!! I am a homosexual whore and on top of that with a Mexican boyfriend. Sonofabitch!!!! Oh, my God…..Black, Jewish, disabled, gay, with a Mexican boyfriend, drug addict, and HIV-positive!!!

Desperate, I begin to shout, cry, pull my hair, and OH, noooooo…I’m Bald!!!

The telephone rings. It’s my brother. He is saying, “Since mom and dad died the only thing you do is hang out, take drugs, and laze around all day doing nothing. Get a job you worthless piece of crap. Any job.” Mom?… Dad?…Nooooooooo… Now I’m also an unemployed orphan!

I try to explain to my brother how hard it is to find a job when you are black, Jewish, disabled, gay with a Mexican boyfriend, are a drug addict, HIV-positive, bald, and an orphan. But he doesn’t get it. Frustrated, I hang up.

It’s then I realize I only have one hand!!! With tears in my eyes I go to the window to look out. I see I live in a shanty-town full of cardboard and tin houses! There is trash everywhere .

Suddenly I feel a sharp pain near my pacemaker… Pacemaker? Besides being black, Jewish, disabled, a fairy with a Mexican boyfriend, a drug addict, HIV-positive, bald, orphaned, unemployed, an invalid with one hand, and having a bad heart, I live in a crappy neighborhood.

At that very moment my boyfriend approaches and says to me, “Sweetiepie, my love, my little black heartthrob, have you decided who are you going to vote for in the Primary?

Hillary or Barack?

Sonofabitch! Say it isn’t so!!! I can handle being a black disabled one armed drug addicted Jewish queer on a Pacemaker who is HIV positive, bald, orphaned, unemployed, lives in a slum, and has a Mexican boyfriend, and now you’re tellimg me I’m a Democrat?!?

Top 10 list… You Might Be a Member of the Taliban or Al Qaeda if…

10. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.

9. You own a $300 machine gun and a $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can’t afford shoes.

8. You have more wives than teeth.

7. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

6. You can’t think of anyone you HAVEN’T declared Jihad against.

5. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry ammunition in your robe.

4. You’ve never been asked, “Does this burka make my ass look fat?”

3. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.

2. You’ve never uttered the phrase, “I love what you’ve done with your cave.”

1. You wipe your butt with your bare left hand, but consider bacon unclean

04 January 2008

Fun with sparklers

Today the guys decided to play with the sparklers we bought for New Years. They took a case of sparklers and wrapped them with electrical and duct tape. You leave two sparklers sticking out like a wick.

After the sparklers are tapped together, light them and drop them down a 2" piece of pipe. The resulting explosion is awesome.

We took a 2" pipe 18" long and put a cap on the bottom. The guys made a sparkler charge and set it in an old camper. When the charge went off, it blew the glass out of the camper. The camper walls are pushed out and we have a hole in the floor and the ceiling. It was awesome. It dislodged the cabinets and collapsed the bathroom door.

Ray's Stuffed Bell Peppers

Last weekend the wife and i were kicking around what to make for dinner. She said we hadn't had stuffed peppers in a while. We decided that sounded pretty good. This recipe is what we came up with.

Now a recipe is just a suggestion. You can substitute anything you like.

Here is a little recipe that the wife and i cooked up. We loved them.

6-8 - Large Bell Peppers
1 - pound lean ground beef
1 - pound sweet Italian sausage
1 - large onion
garlic to your liking
Salt and Pepper to taste
2- cups of rice cooked
1- can of Rotel (hot or mild whichever you prefer)
1 - jar of Marinara sauce
1/2 - pound of your favorite grated cheese

Brown the Ground Beef and Italian sausage together. Add the onion and the garlic about half way through the browning process. It doesn't really matter when you add them, this is usually when i think about it. After the meat is browned, add the Rotel. Salt and Pepper to taste.

Use your rice cooker or a pot and cook the rice. Rice is easy. 1 1/2 cups of water per cup of rice. Bring the water to a boil, add the rice, reduce heat to simmer and simmer for 20 minutes. If you have a rice cooker, follow the directions. Cook the rice and add it to the meat mixture. Use the Marinara sauce to thin out the rice and meat mixture. I like it to be pasty, just a little on the thin side

Cut the tops off the bell peppers and de-vein the peppers. Put the pepper into a pot of boiling water and boil them to tenderize the peppers. How long you boil the peppers depends on how tender you want them. I find that 5 minutes is about right. You do not want the peppers to fall apart on you.

Remove the peppers from the water and drain them. After the peppers are drained, stuff the peppers with the rice and meat mixture. Place the pepper tops back on the pepper and cover with grated cheese. Put the peppers in the oven at 325 degrees until the cheese melts. Serve while they are hot and Viola.

Ever wonder what Muslim pussy looks like?


>Earl and Bubba are quietly sitting in a boat fishing, chewing and
>drinking beer when suddenly Bubba says, 'I think I'm gonna
>divorce my wife - she ain't spoke to me in over 2 months.'
>Earl spits, sips his beer and says, 'Better think it over - - - - -
>women like that are hard to find.'

03 January 2008

Ray's nearly famous Split Pea Soup

Chunks of left over ham
Ham bone
1-package of Pork Tasso (if you can get it)
1- onion
1-cup of carrots
1-bag of split peas
salt and pepper to taste

Take the left over ham and cut it into chunks. Cut the Tasso into chunks as well. If you can not get Tasso, salt pork or pickled meat will work as well. Put the ham and tasso into a large pot and brown. Add the onion when the meat mixture gets dry and continue cooking until the onion are caramelized.

I like to buy a frozen onion mix here in West Texas. It is called the Southwest mix. It has onions, green peppers, chilies and the like.

After the onions have caramelized, add 8 cups of water and bring to a boil. Put the ham bone in the pot and after the water boils, lower the heat and let it simmer for about a six pack.

Add 1 pound of split peas and carrots and simmer for 30-45 minutes. Salt and pepper to taste. Make some grilled cheese sandwiches with french bread and you have a great meal. Enjoy.

This isn't so hard - Even a Caveman can do it

1. You have to be against capital punishment,
> >> but
> >> support abortion on
> >> demand.
> >>
> >> 2. You have to believe that businesses create
> >> oppression and governments
> >> create prosperity.
> >>
> >> 3. You have to believe that guns in the hands
> >> of
> >> law-abiding Americans are
> >> more of a threat than U.S. Nuclear weapons
> >> technology in the hands of
> >> Chinese and North Korean communists.
> >>
> >> 4. You have to believe that there was no art
> >> before
> >> Federal funding.
> >>
> >> 5. You have to believe that global temperatures
> >> are
> >> less affected by
> >> cyclical documented changes in the earth's
> >> climate
> >> and more affected by
> >> soccer moms driving SUV's.
> >>
> >> 6. You have to believe that gender roles are
> >> artificial but being homosexual
> >> is natural.
> >>
> >> 7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is
> >> spread
> >> by a lack of federal
> >> funding.
> >>
> >> 8. You have to believe that the same teacher
> >> who
> >> can't teach fourth graders
> >> how to read is somehow qualified to teach those
> >> same
> >> kids about sex.
> >>
> >> 9. You have to believe that hunters don't care
> >> about
> >> nature, but loony
> >> activists who have never been outside of San
> >> Francisco do.
> >>
> >> 10. You have to believe that self-esteem is
> >> more
> >> important than actually
> >> doing something to earn it.
> >>
> >> 11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent
> >> $25
> >> million of his own money
> >> to make "The Passion of the Christ" for
> >> financial
> >> gain only.
> >>
> >> 12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because
> >> it
> >> supports certain parts of
> >> the Constitution, while the ACLU is good
> >> because it
> >> supports certain parts
> >> of the Constitution.
> >>
> >> 13. You have to believe that taxes are too low,
> >> but
> >> ATM fees are too high.
> >>
> >> 14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger
> >> and
> >> Gloria Steinem are more
> >> important to American history than Thomas
> >> Jefferson,
> >> Thomas Edison, and A.G.
> >> Bell.
> >>
> >> 15. You have to believe that standardized tests
> >> are
> >> racist, but racial
> >> quotas and set-asides are not.
> >>
> >> 16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is
> >> normal and is a very nice
> >> person.
> >>
> >> 17. You have to believe that the only reason
> >> socialism hasn't worked
> >> anywhere it's been tried is because the right
> >> people
> >> haven't been in charge.
> >>
> >> 18. You have to believe conservatives telling
> >> the
> >> truth belong in jail, but
> >> a liar and a sex offender belonged in the White
> >> House.
> >>
> >> 19. You have to believe that homosexual parades
> >> displaying drag,
> >> transvestites, and bestiality should be
> >> constitutionally protected, and
> >> manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
> >>
> >> 20. You have to believe that illegal Democrat
> >> Party
> >> funding by the Chinese
> >> Government is somehow in the best interest to
> >> the
> >> United States .
> >>
> >> 21. You have to believe that this message is a
> >> part
> >> of a vast, right wing
> >> conspiracy.
> >>
> >> 22. You have to believe that it's okay to give
> >> Federal workers the day off
> >> on Christmas Day ..........but it's not okay to
> >> say
> >> "Merry Christmas."
> >>
> >> YOU JUST GOTTA BELIEVE ... Now are you ready to
> >> vote
> >> yet?

01 January 2008

The Holidays are over

I must say it is bitter-sweet. I love the atmosphere around Christmas time. We had a rough Christmas this year. It was mostly the wife and I with a funeral thrown in. I can honestly say that this is one Christmas i will not forget.

I took down the exterior lights today and stowed everthing away in the shed. Everytime i take down the lights i start feeling a little sad that Christmas is over.

Last night the wife and I decided to spend the evening with us. I got home from Father-in-laws house around 1900 and we cooked a ham. My buddy gave me a ham from Larry's Speciality Meats in Odessa. It was by far the best ham i ever ate. A honey glazed ham smoked on mesquit. It was quite nice. Thanks for the Ham Ricky.

Lat night i decided to make a New Year's resolution. I looked at the wife and said Honey, i think we should resolve to never go to sleep horny. Apparently i am a deranged individual who places too much value on sex. Damn, i thought i was just normal. She said that she may not be in the mood and shouldn't be obligated. I replied that it didn't always have to be her. Well, wrong answer.

I have the ham bone and ham remenants simmering and i'll soon add the split peas. Split pea soup is a tradition here. Ya'll have a Happy New Year and may your lifes be Blessed.