30 June 2008

Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic?

The following is an actual question given
> on a University of Washington chemistry mid term.
>
> The answer by one student was so
> 'profound' that the professor shared it with
> colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we
> now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well
Most of the students wrote proofs of their
> beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands
> and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
>
> One student, however, wrote the following:
>
> First, we need to know how the mass of Hell
> is changing in tim e. So we need to know the rate at which
> souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are
> leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul
> gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are
> leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's
> look at the different religions that exist in the world
> today.
>
> Most of these religions state that if you
> are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
> Since there is more than one of these religions and since
> people do not belong to more than one religion, we can
> project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death
> rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in
> Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of
> change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states
> that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to
> stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand
> proportionately as souls are added.
>
> This gives two possibilities:
>
> 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate
> than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the
> temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all
> Hell breaks loose.
>
> 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster
> than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature
> and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
>
> So which is it?
>
> If we accept the postulate given to me by
> Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a
> cold day in Hell before I sleep with you', and take
> into account the fact that I slept with her last night,
> then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell
> is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of
> this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows
> that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
> extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the
> existence of a divine being which explains why, last night,
> Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God'.

1 comment:

armed_and_christian said...

I love that one. My oldest son has an equasion that proves mathematically that girls are evil.