26 November 2008

Memories and Beer

Tomorrow will be the first Thanksgiving without my wife. If today is an indication of what it will be like, i wish it was already over. Last year my parents where here for Thanksgiving and it snowed 4 inches. That was the first time i think my parents saw snow like that. It was an awesome Thanksgiving.

This year i will be alone for Thanksgiving. Being alone doesn't bother me. Its the fact that the one person whom my life revolved around is no longer with me. I don't know what to do with our old traditions so my plan is to do nothing. For 4 years in the Navy we learned how to be alone on the holidays. When your stationed overseas Thanksgiving isn't celebrated. You just deal with it.

My girlfriend will be working tomorrow so i have the day to myself. Her family gathered for Thanksgiving last Sunday. I got to meet most of her family. Everything went fine as planned. Me and her Dad get along just fine other than the fact that he is a former Marine and i a former Sailor. We jabbed at each other a bit and had fun with it.

I must admit that in the last 12 years, Thanksgiving at GF's families place was a lot more civilized than i am used to. You see my in-laws are a rough sort. Hell, damn near all of them had spent a little time as guest of the local law enforcement's public hotel. They didn't consider it a good gathering unless the cops were called. When i was at GF's gathering i was constantly on guard for a sucker punch or something. Old habits die hard LOL. Not that the in-laws gathering weren't fun, we had a blast, they just weren't normal i guess. They were simply what happened when a bunch of rednecks get together with a lot of booze and free time. I must say that i was at home with them. Since Ruth's Dad passed in December 2007 and Ruth passed in January 2008, her family has fractured and gone their separate ways. They will not be getting together for any holidays. There is some bad blood between them now.

A side not to the above paragraph. One Thanksgiving a couple of years back, we hosted it. Everybody came over and as usual the beer was flowing, the food was good and the shit was being talked. Everybody was having a good time until Brother-in-law decided that his step-daughter's, cousin's husband, wasn't treating her right. Sounds kinda trailer parkish i know, but it is the truth. Anywho, words were shared and a fight broke out. After we pulled them apart, Brother-in-law had a huge piece of the dudes ear in his mouth. That guy was bleeding like a stuck pig. I couldn't stop laughing. It was so "Mike Tyson" it cracked me up. I think i still have that hunk of ear in a zip lock bag somewhere.

Now you have a glimpse of what i am used to, and it all stopped overnight. As i move forward and try to untangle my thoughts and traditions, i look to the future and wonder what the future holds for me. I am a chameleon in the sense that i easily adapt. Hopefully i can establish new traditions with the GF and we have a future together.

GF is a really good person. She knows that i still love Ruth and always will. She can accept that and allows me my time when i need it. I couldn't ask for a nicer person to be with and she understands my demons. I only hope that i can live up to the be the person she thinks i am.

Happy Thanksgiving and may your holidays be blessed.


23 November 2008

Dating for idiots, from a novice point of view

1) A pellet rifle is not the preferred method of removing a stray kitten from a tree, according to some women. No matter that you damn near broke your neck climbing a ladder after the bastard and it kept going higher and it wouldn't shut up and was driving the dog crazy. In the end, the problem was solved, just not to her satisfaction.

2) No matter how polite you are or the nicest tone of voice you can muster, if you tell a grocery store clerk to check their insurance for sterility coverage because they are to stupid to reproduce, it will be frowned upon. It is best to bite your tongue, show the dumb ass how to make the correct change and walk out the door with a smile on your face.

3) Everything is relative. For example, if a senior citizen says something to you, you take it with a grain of salt. If your 6'5" and weigh 325 pounds, you may be accused of having road rage and being a bully behind the wheel. I just think i am aggressive and don't like idiots.

4) If you and your girlfriend are shopping and a scantily clad young women you recognize starts walking towards you, get the hell out of there. It is impossible to explain to your new girlfriend how you know Kandy who works at Jaguars Gentleman's Club. you are behind the 8 ball from the start, and you will dig a hole for yourself that is impossible to climb out of. The old "she is a friend of my niece" shit will not work.

5) If you introduce your new girlfriend to your friends, never, never under any circumstances get involved in a bet that you can fit your head in the glove compartment of your truck, or any vehicle for that matter. There is no positive outcome. Just walk away.

6) "These pants are fire proof" is the stupidest comment you can make when hanging out with your friends. everything burns when exposed to a torch. bet your paycheck on that.

20 November 2008

Walking in a mine field

So i am dating this lady now and i didn't realize how awkward it would be. It is like negotiating a mine field.

After being married for almost ten years i thought i was well trained. Apparently i was wrong. There is a huge difference in dating and marriage. For example, if you tell the one your dating " I am dating you because i want to, not because i need you " they may not take it the way you meant it, or you meant it the way they took it. I am not sure yet. Life is a puzzle.

At 41 years old i guess i am set in some of my ways. I am willing to compromise on some issues but on others i am not willing to budge. I guess we have to see what we are willing to live with or without. I call this the awkward stage.

The time when you have to watch what you say and do. I'll be glad when this is over. For example, she thinks i have a bit of road rage. Do you know how hard it is to drive and not honk the horn or yell at some idiot? I am also learning that an honest answer is not always the best answer. I have to really watch my answers.

I also found that i have to keep her away from my friends that tell stories about some of the stupid things i have done. She doesn't understand why anyone would do that. For example, one night someone dared me to wear a pair of camo speedos to the bar so i did. the problem was i got enough beer in me to show them off. They got pictures.... and they have come back to haunt me. She doesn't think that was funny.

It is what it is and i am what i am. I will be myself and will be accepted as is or rejected. No one is perfect and everyone has baggage. We have to decide what we can live with and draw our line in the sand.


17 November 2008

I support Single Mom's

What a scary thought, gun control

You're sound asleep when you hear a thump outside your bedroom door.
> Half-awake, and nearly paralyzed with fear, you hear muffled whispers.
> At least two people have broken into your house and are moving your way.
> With your heart pumping, you reach down beside your bed and pick up your
> shotgun. You rack a shell into the chamber, then inch toward the door
> and open it. In the darkness, you make out two shadows.
> *One holds something that looks like a crowbar. When the intruder
> brandishes it as if to strike, you raise the shotgun and fire. The blast
> knocks both thugs to the floor. One writhes and screams while the second
> man crawls to the front door and lurches outside. As you pick up the
> telephone to call police, you know you're in trouble.
> In your country, most guns were outlawed years before, and the few That
> are privately owned are so stringently regulated as to make them
> useless. Yours was never registered. Police arrive and inform you that
> the second burglar has died. They arrest you for First Degree Murder and
> Illegal Possession of a Firearm. When you talk to your attorney, he
> tells you not to worry: authorities will probably plea the case down to
> manslaughter.
> "What kind of sentence will I get?" you ask.
> "Only ten-to-twelve years," he replies, as if that's nothing. "Behave
> yourself, and you'll be out in seven."
> *
> *The next day, the shooting is the lead story in the local newspaper.
> Somehow, you're portrayed as an eccentric vigilante while the two men
> you shot are represented as choirboys. Their friends and relatives can't
> find an unkind word to say about them. Buried deep down in the article,
> authorities acknowledge that both "victims" have been arrested numerous
> times. But the next day's headline says it all: "Lovable Rogue Son
> Didn't Deserve to Die." The thieves have been transformed from career
> criminals into Robin Hood-type pranksters. As the days wear on, the
> story takes wings. The national media picks it up, then the
> international media. The surviving burglar has become a folk hero.
> Your attorney says the thief is preparing to sue you, and he'll probably
> win. The media publishes reports that your home has been burglarized
> several times in the past and that you've been critical of local police
> for their lack of effort in apprehending the suspects. After the last
> break-in, you told your neighbor that you would be prepared next time.
> The District Attorney uses this to allege that you were lying in wait
> for the burglars.
> A few months later, you go to trial. The charges haven't been reduced,
> as your lawyer had so confidently predicted. When you take the stand,
> your anger at the injustice of it all works against you. Prosecutors
> paint a picture of you as a mean, vengeful man. It doesn't take long for
> the jury to convict you of all charges.
> The judge sentences you to life in prison.
> This case really happened.
> On August 22, 1999, Tony Martin of Emneth, Norfolk, England, killed
> one burglar and wounded a second. In April, 2000, he was convicted and
> is now serving a life term.
> How did it become a crime to defend one's own life in the once great
> British Empire ?
> It started with the Pistols Act of 1903. This seemingly reasonable law
> forbade selling pistols to minors or felons and established that handgun
> sales were to be made only to those who had a license. The Firearms Act
> of 1920 expanded licensing to include not only handguns but all firearms
> except shotguns.
> Later laws passed in 1953 and 1967 outlawed the carrying of any weapon
> by private citizens and mandated the registration of all shotguns.
> Momentum for total handgun confiscation began in earnest after the
> Hungerford mass shooting in 1987. Michael Ryan, a mentally disturbed Man
> with a Kalashnikov rifle, walked down the streets shooting everyone he
> saw. When the smoke cleared, 17 people were dead.
> The British public, already de-sensitized by eighty years of "gun
> control", demanded even tougher restrictions. (The seizure of all
> privately owned handguns was the objective even though Ryan used a rifle.)
> Nine years later, at Dunblane , Scotland , Thomas Hamilton used a
> semi-automatic weapon to murder 16 children and a teacher at a public
> school.
> For many years, the media had portrayed all gun owners as mentally
> unstable, or worse, criminals. Now the press had a real kook with which
> to beat up law-abiding gun owners. Day after day, week after week, the
> media gave up all pretense of objectivity and demanded a total ban on
> all handguns. The Dunblane Inquiry, a few months later,
> Sealed the fate of the few sidearm still owned by private citizens.
> During the years in which the British government incrementally took Away
> most gun rights, the notion that a citizen had the right to armed
> self-defense came to be seen as vigilantism. Authorities refused to
> grant gun licenses to people who were threatened, claiming that
> self-defense was no longer considered a reason to own a gun. Citizens
> who shot burglars or robbers or rapists were charged while the real
> criminals were released.
> Indeed, after the Martin shooting, a police spokesman was quoted as
> saying, "We cannot have people take the law into their own hands."
> All of Martin's neighbors had been robbed numerous times, and several
> elderly people were severely injured in beatings by young thugs who had
> no fear of the consequences. Martin himself, a collector of antiques,
> had seen most of his collection trashed or stolen by burglars.
> When the Dunblane Inquiry ended, citizens who owned handguns were given
> three months to turn them over to local authorities. Being good British
> subjects, most people obeyed the law. The few who didn't were visited by
> police and threatened with ten-year prison sentences if they didn't
> comply. Police later bragged that they'd taken nearly 200,000 handguns
> from private citizens.
> How did the authorities know who had handguns? The guns had been
> registered and licensed. Kinda like cars.
> Sound familiar?
> "..it does not require a majority to prevail, but rather an irate,
> tireless minority keen to set brush fires in people's minds.."
> --Samuel Adams
> If you think this is important, please forward to everyone you know

13 November 2008

Contrast of life

Two weeks ago i was in a bad place. I was depressed and just didn't have a good attitude. I had tried dating and decided it wasn't for me. I couldn't find anyone i was willing to spend time with and was ready to be alone for a while. Then all that changed by a chance meeting.

I was walking into the hospital when i saw her. The way she carried herself, she had an air about her. I stopped her, introduced myself and started talking to her. I stayed there until 0130 that morning just talking and watching the election returns. We decided to go out the next night and we hit it off. We have spent every evening together since.

Two lost souls and a chance meeting in a hallway. It always happens when you least expect it. I am not sure where this will lead but i am going to persue it to find out. If i have my way, the journey will be just as exciting as the destination.

04 November 2008

You have to go read this article

I was browsing a fellow bloggers site and came across this article. It is the best written article i have read. Please go read it and let him know what you think of it.

02 November 2008

The third person

He goes to bed that cold fall night thinking of her. He sets his clocks back one hour to conform with the end of Daylight Savings Time. He can't believe that she is gone. Gone forever. No phone call, no one last chance to say I Love You, simply gone. The tears well up in his eyes as he drifts off too sleep.

This is the time when he lost her. The Winter days are shorter and he already longs for Summer. Fall is just started and he is hating the holidays and the winter season. He just wants the warmth of the sunlight back. He misses her. His heart is heavy.

He awakens early that Sunday morning. He looks at the clock and it is 0300. The moon is full and the moonlight cascades in thru the blinds. His dreams were filled with her and he can not sleep. He walks out on the back deck with cold beer and contemplates drinking it. He decides what the fuck. Drink it. He chases that beer with a shot of Crown. The whiskey going down his throat warms him. He stares at his garden.

He planted the garden last spring. He was bored and she had all these potting plants and pots. He pulled out all the plants and planted vegetables in the pots. They were lined up along the fence so the sprinkler would water them every other day. They produced a lot of vegetables and he had shared them with his friends. He longed for the day that he planted them.

He stares at the two trees that they planted on Arbor day. The leaves are gone and they look like twigs sticking out of the ground. Many times he thought about pulling them up. He just couldn't bring himself to do it. They reminded him of her and her Love for him. He remembers the smile on her face when he dug the holes for them. She carefully paced off the distance from the house and the fence to have them in the perfect spot in the back yard. Those two stupid trees meant a lot to her. At the time they planted them, they were an obstacle for mowing. He wished she was still here to see them. A tear rolls down his cheek.

He is sitting in a green lawn chair in his skives staring at his makeshift garden. Noticing the leaves falling and the barren stalks and his mind starts to wonder. He has a fresh beer in his left hand and a bottle of crown in his right. He is oblivious to his surroundings. His mind drifts off to an episode of M.A.S.H.

It is the spring and Father John Francis Patrick Mulcahy had planted a garden. He tends to his garden and in due time it yields home grown vegetables. They have fresh corn and peas and such and they enjoy the summer in Korea. The shows moves forward to winter and they celebrate the holidays. When New Years rolls around Colonel Potter comes in dressed as Baby New Year and gives a toast to the upcoming year and prays for Peace Talks and the War's end. As the show ends the camera pans out to the garden in its barren state and only stalks and the remnants of a scarecrow remain. It reminds him of his life. It was once full of life and growth and now all he can focus on is the remnants of what once was. A scarecrow in tattered clothing brings thoughts of his own existence to mind. Is that what he is? A scarecrow in a decomposing garden hoping for spring once again.

In the distance he hears a beeping sound. As he drifts back to reality he realizes that the sound is his alarm clock going off at 0530. The normal time for the clock and as usual he is up before it goes off. He finishes the beer and debates on whether or not to go to church. He walks to the bedroom to silence the alarm. He can not focus and his mind is drifting. He simply misses his wife.

He lays back down in bed and pulls the covers up to warm his body. His mind is numb. He looks longingly at the spot where she used to lay. He prays for sleep but it will not come. He lays there staring at the ceiling holding a pillow wondering what the day holds in store for him.

What does this day hold in store for him? He misses his wife......

I guess i am an asshole

As many people know i am a member at several Internet sites for singles who are dating. I can honestly say that i am not looking to get laid. I really am not that interested in sex right now as i am still in love with my wife. This puts me in a unique position to Jedi Mind Trick a few women. .

In Odessa TX it is too easy to find an intimate overnight relationship. All you have to do is go to the bars and be available. This really scares me. That is why i joined the Internet sites. A few of them are Faith based and in my opinion i meet a better quality person there.

This little story is about a non faith based site. It goes something like this:

Most sites have a feature where you can wink or send an emotigram or something like that to someone to express your interest. I received one of these little flirts and used the site furnished "Not Interested" feature to respond.

This apparently pissed of the sender and she wrote me a scathing Email to let me know that i am an asshole.

Truth be told, everyone who knows me knows that i am an asshole and i do not try to hide it. I call them like i see them and i have been accused of being "brutally honest". This is me. I am who i am.

I decided to respond to "pissed off sender" and the conversation goes something like this:

Thank you BBWLOOKINGFORLOVE for viewing my profile. I am sorry that my response to your flirt fell on such a despondent personality. Not everyone on this site is a chubby chaser. I viewed your profile and you stopped just short of saying that you are a skank whore that is looking to get laid.

Your pictures indicate that a buffet is your kriptonite and maybe you should think about a life style change before judging me on my responses. This is a dating site and people post pictures so that one can view the photographs and determine whether or not one is interested. A person of such a rotund physique as yourself must know that not all men like fat bitches.

I was trying to be nice and let you know like a gentlemen that i am not interested. Since you can not fathom chivalry i will come straight to the point and tell you my intentions. I find you disgusting and i hope you share this with your desperate friends. Women like you give lady's a bad name and most men are not interested in hogging unless on a college bet.

I hope you gain some understanding from this and feel free to share with your obsessed friends so they will not flirt with me. Have a great day and may the force be with you.