10 July 2008

Pity the middle class

The greatest fear in a man's life is to be poor. However, this thought is now changing due to subsidized housing, health and dental care, college scholarships, and various other welfare benefits provided you are poor enough. All you need to enjoy many advantages of life is proof that you are disadvantaged. In curing poverty, society has created a problem group called the middle class.

Nobody wants to be middle class anymore because the middle class has an awkward amount of money - too much to be eligible to live as well as the poor, and too little to live as well as the rich. Instead of living downtown the poor sap has to buy a crummy lot 35 miles from town and then spends the rest of his life trying to pay bills, educate the kids and meet the mortgage because no one will help him out. If poverty gets any more attractive, the following conversation may soon be commonplace at the office:

"Mr. Massey, I wonder if I could speak to you a minute?"
"What is it Dill, I'm very busy."
"It's about my salary, Sir. I wonder if you could give me a decrease?"
"You had a decrease less than a year ago, Dill."
"I know, Sir, and I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important. But I sure could use less money."
"What size decrease did you have in mind?"
"Well, I know it is a lot, but I was hoping for a $25.00 cut in salary."
"$25.00! That's a big slide, Dill. What have you done to merit this decrease?"
"I've worked for the company 19 years, Sir, and I have never let you down. My work has always been up to standard."
"I realize that, Dill. But $25.00! Wouldn't you be satisfied with a $15.00 cut? You know we have a budget and we are already below last year's figures."
"I guess a $15.00 decrease is better than none, Sir, but my wife and I had our hearts set on a $25.00 decrease."
"How about a $20.00 decrease?"
"That's better yet, Sir, but if I made $25.00 less, we would be eligible for an apartment in the city's new development, the one downtown with a pool, sauna, bath and tennis courts. Besides, my son would qualify for a government scholarship and we could get his teeth fixed."
"You drive a hard bargain, Dill. O.K., you get a $25.00 decrease on this condition. If your work slips, you'll take a $10.00 raise and no questions asked. Also, I hope you will invite me over for tennis and a swim some night when you get moved into your new place."
"Certainly, Sir. I believe the poor should share with the less fortunate."

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