04 April 2008

Rabbit Man

One afternoon my buddy Mark calls me and ask if I'm interested in doing a little varmint hunting. I reply heck yea and Mark tells me to call Eric, who will be later called Rocket man, and Eric agrees and off we go on a fun filled event of hunting and talking smack.

When i talk about varmint hunting it may not be what you are thinking. We don't just sit around and wait for coyotes or bobcats. We drive around looking for them and blowing rabbits away while we are looking for the coyotes and bobcats.

It is about 2200 and we are driving down a plow road next to a cotton field. Mark had just bought a brand spankin new .204 stainless rifle and was itching to blow something away. Mark got his wish. About 100yds down the cotton row there is a huge jack rabbit.

I am driving the truck and Mark and Eric are in the back shooting anything that moves. Mark hollers to stop when he sees that huge jack down the cotton row. I stop and Mark takes the shot. A beautiful shot in the head. The jack just rolls over dead.

Mark ask me to go down the row and retrieve the jack. I bebop down the row and grab the dead jack. i am carrying the jack by his hind legs and his bloody dangling head is dragging the ground. Mark shot him in the neck and there was a little flap of skin holding the head on. As i near the truck i was about 10 yds from them. Mark and Eric are shining the jack to see the damage and of course being the friends that they are they are shining my face as well with 3 million candlepower spotlights.

So i start swinging the jack back and forth like i am about to throw it at them. They shined my face some more and Eric shouted "I dare You". I chunk ed that jack with an extremely high arc. My plan was to make the jack land in the back of the truck and make a mess. As i tossed the jack, Mark and Eric hunkered down as close to the back of the cab as they could get. As they were hunkering down trying to spot the dead flying rabbit, it landed perfectly on Mark's shoulders like a scarf. The weight of the jack caused it to wrap around his neck and the dangling head smacked him on the cheek and in the mouth. Mark dang near freaked out.

Mark threw the jack off of him and was trying to get the blood off his face but ended up smearing it everywhere. Eric was laughing so hard he fell out of the back of the truck. I was rolling on the ground laughing and i couldn't stop. All this laughing was pissing Mark off. Mark was shouting that he was going to get the bubonic plague and rabbit aids. He swore that if he caught any disease he would hunt us down and snipe us. We simply couldn't stop laughing at Marks ranting. Mark just kept getting madder.

After Mark used up all our water trying to get the blood and guts off of him, he decided it was time to go. I am not sure if he talked to us on the way home and Eric and I just couldn't stop laughing. This happened about 3 years ago and the three of us has not been hunting together since.

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