07 February 2011

I have joined the ranks of the terminally stupid

Yep, i have become one of the people i have always said were too stupid to procreate. Every month at work we get a list of accidents that happened. We have dubbed that list the Darwin awards. People who do really stupid shit and get themselves hurt. Unfortunately, I have become one of those idiots, although at home, not at work.

Here is how the story goes. My daughter in law has been after me to adopt a dog. Since we got 4 acres, we have plenty of room. Finally i told her that if she found a Catahoula for adoption, i would adopt it. I figured the chances were slim and none of finding a Catahoula in West Texas.

Sure enough, she finds one. I was actually in Amarillo when she found him so she adopted him for me. I was to take ownership when i got home. According to adoption rules, she had to take the dog to the vet within 48 hours. While at the vet she called me and asked what i was going to name him. I had to name a dog i haven't seen. I decided to go with his heritage and named him Feet Pue Tan (Fee boo tan). I thought it was funny.

So here i am with a Catahoula, a big yard and no dog house. I put something together for him but it wasn't very good. As you know, we had temperatures in the single digits last week. I decided that on Saturday i was going to build a dog condo for my new best friend. We call him Beaux for short.

I enlist the oldest boy to help me out. We decided to build his condo in the old water well shed. The shed is constructed of cement board so it will keep the wind and moisture of the condo. $211 later, i have all the supplies i need to have a dog house with a living room and a bedroom and the entire condo will be heated along with a heated bed for him.

The condo currently has two rooms but one of them will be the sleeping quarters for the second dog i plan to get.

Anyway, we build a floor out of treated lumber and start building the walls. We insulate the walls with R-30 insulation and seal all cracks. Everything is going good until i accidentally put some 3" nails in the pneumatic air gun.

As i am building the roof, the air nailer jams up. I must add that i was already pissed off at this point. Beaux, the smart ass that he is, decided to make a run for it when i had the gate open. I had to chase his ass down on a UTV to catch him, not once but twice. I was plenty steamed when the air nailer jammed up.

I was jiggling the safety device and messing with the trigger when BAM, the nailer went off and i felt a sharp pain in my index finger. I look down and there is a 3" nail shot through my glove and index finger. I just starred at it with disbelief.

I walked out of the shed and oldest boy looked at it and thought i was joking around. When he realized i was serious, he looks at me and says "Damn, you want to go to the hospital?"

I said "No, I just need to pull it out".

Let me tell you all right now that pulling the nail out hurt a lot more than it did going in.

As with all puncture wounds, once the nail was removed, the bleeding began. After i got the bleeding under control and the wound bandaged, i finished up the condo. I liberally applied pain medication in the liquid form and hopefully there will be no infection.

So because i was mad, in a hurry, and not paying attention, I get a nail through the finger. Just goes to show that we need to keep our focus no matter what we are doing or where we are doing it.

1 comment:

Jess said...

A friend nailed their thumb to an overhead board, while building their house. Nobody was around, so he stood on the ladder with his thumb nailed to a board until he analyzed his situation.

After carefull thought, he remembered he had his nail bar in his tool pouch. A little fanangling and some leverage allowed him to free his thumb, cuss a litte and chalk up another bad experience.

His mistake was holding the board within the distance the nail could travel. When the nail hit a knot, it deflected out the side of the board and through his thumb.