03 February 2009

Sometimes i just get lucky

My salesman asked me if i wanted to go to Carlsbad NM with him on a sales call. I respond with the typical Hell No, I didn't loose nothing in New Mexico. After a few rounds of verbal intercourse we decide i really should go.

We are tooling along and going thru Jal NM and we headed North West on the Carlsbad Highway. This particular highway is two lanes through the shit country of New Mexico. The speed limit is 65 mph and so i decided to make up some time. I put the pedal to the floor and was cruising pretty good. My salesman was on the phone arguing with some lawyer over a traffic accident and i was really just day dreaming and not paying attention to anything.

There is absolutely no scenery on this highway. The road runs between two ranches and all you have to watch for is cows and buzzards. There was a truck about 1/2 mile ahead of me and i was keeping pace with him. About this time a car tops the hill in front of me coming towards me. I wasn't really looking until the flashing lights came on. I felt my heart sink.

I told my salesman to hang up because i was going to jail. He asked what the speed limit was and i told him i didn't know. The cop turns around and proceeds to chase us down. I am a firm believer that a cop will have to get right behind me for me too pull over. Anything else is an admission of guilt.

He gets right on my bumper and i pull over. As he is walking to my truck i pull out my drivers license and CCW permit. I am sitting there with this pissed off look on my face and my salesman is asking if i wore clean underwear cause bubba likes his bitches clean. He wouldn't shut up about me going to jail. He thought it was funny, i didn't.

The cop walks up and says " I clocked you at 94 MPH and that yahoo ahead of you at 91 MPH"

I say " We were fighting for the pole'

He looks at me like "I can't believe he said that" and requested my drivers license, insurance and registration. Very politely i remind him that Texas doesn't require us to carry registration so i do not have that. He nods and looks at my CCW license and ask 'What's this?"

I respond " By law i am required to declare that i have a CCW license and let you know whether or not i am packing sir"

He says " Are you packing son?"

I say " Yes sir, it would be a waste to have a permit and not carry"

"What are you packing?"

Sig P220 .45 i say

He ask where it is and i tell him. He ask to look at it and i show him. We get to talking about gun laws, guns, reciprocity and come to find out he is a constable.

He turn out to be a pretty nice guy and then he ask "If i let you off, will you slow it down?"

I say " Do you have any friends coming behind you?"

He says " I might"

I say " I'll slow it down"

We have a good laugh and he sends me on my way. I am smiling like i just won a blue ribbon and my salesman can not believe that i got out of 94 in a 65 without a ticket or a written warning. We stopped at the next town and bought lottery tickets. Obviously i didn't win, the lottery that is.


Mulligan said...

smooth :) all else fails be bold.


canivalpo said...

I would've been off the hook within 8 minutes--slacker.