Potential

Old Butch

Homer was in the fertilized egg business.> He had several hundred hens called "pullets,"> and 10 roosters to fertilize the eggs. He kept> records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup> pot and was replaced.>> This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny> bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a> different tone, so he could tell from a distance which> rooster was performing. Now he could sit on the porch> and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the> bells.>> Homer's favorite rooster, old Butch, was a> very fine specimen, but one morning he noticed old> Butch's bell hadn't rung at all! When he went to> investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy chasing> pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the> roosters coming, would run for cover.>>> To Homer's amazement, old Butch had> his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He> would sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the> next one. Homer was so proud of old Butch, he entered> him in the County Fair and Butch became an overnight> sensation among the judges.>> The> judges not only awarded old Butch the “No-Bell Piece> Prize”, but they also awarded him the “Pulletsurprise”> as well.>> Clearly old Butch was a Democrat in the> making. Who else but a Democrat could figure out how> to win two of the most highly coveted awards on the planet> by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and> screwing them when they weren't paying> attention.

.50 BMG versus concrete test cylinder

Mud, Guns, Beer and lies. Redneck heaven.

This old stump decided to bite on to the axe when we were splitting it. We tried to get it out but we ended up breaking the handle off. No big deal, we set it aside and forgot about it. Later that night, about 0200 that morning actually, after the beer had replaced our good sense, i decided to set the stump down range and shoot the axe head out with the .50 BMG. I will admit that i missed the first few shots but eventually hit it. We never found a single piece of the axe head. I assume that since it is hardened steel, it just shattered. Oh, another reason i missed is because a hat was hanging on the axe head. I'll explain later.
Here is the hat that was on the axe head. This hat belongs to little bill who in the next post you see sitting in the middle of a mud hole. For whatever reason, it seemed like the right thing to do at the time, we decided to shoot his hat. We convinced little bill that when he fell into the mud hole, a huge snapping turtle went after him and it bit his hat. As of today he is convinced that he barley got out of there alive cause that big ass turtle was after him. I am still laughing my ass off!! Drunk people are so much fun to mess with.

My Rhino got so much mud in the radiator that it started running hot and we had to clean it. That is the first time i got it that muddy.

If you have never ridden a Rhino, i can not say enough good about them. This machine will go damn near anywhere. With the proper tires and a passionate driver, you can bust open any mud hole.

Camping trip 2009

My little mud buggy. It performed quite well this year.



This is what happens when you mix large amounts of beer, an inexperienced rider and a mudhole from hell. Not to mention a bunch of guys calling him names because he was hesitant.

Here is my Uncle trying to get through the mudhole from hell. He says the jeep stalled but i am not too sure. Maybe if he freshened up his skills, the jeep wouldn't stall.

Thi is another bog hole where the jeep stalled because it lost all forward motion. Some of the holes out there are bad and you have to be real ccareful or your pulling chains.

Here is a 3/4" thick steel plate that my .50 BMG was driving holes through. Shooting that gun is damn near orgasmic.

Too funny

A Harley rider is passing the zoo, when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion’s cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents. The biker jumps off his bike, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch. Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and the biker brings her to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly.A New York Times reporter has watched the whole event. The reporter says, “Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I’ve seen a man do in my whole life.”
The biker replies, “Why, it was nothing, really; the lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger, and acted as I felt right.”
The reporter says, “Well, I’m a journalist from the New York Times, and tomorrow’s paper will have this story on the front page. So, what do you do for a living and what political affiliation do you have?”
The biker replies, “I’m a U.S. Marine and a Republican.”
The following morning the biker buys The New York Times to see if it indeed brings news of his actions, and reads, on front page:
U.S. MARINE ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT AND STEALS HIS LUNCH

Secret to a happy marriage

The two biggest secrets to a happy marriage are this:

When your wrong, admit it

When your right, shut up