Write me in for President, here is my platform

(1) Press 1 for English is immediately banned. English is the
official language, speak it or wait at the border until you can.

(2) We will immediately go into a two year isolationist posture to
straighten out the country's attitude. NO imports, no exports. We will
use the 'Walmart' policy 'If we ain't got it, you don't need it.'

(3) When imports are allowed, there will be a 100% import tax on it.

(4) All retired military personnel will be required to man one of our
many observation towers on the southern border. (six month tour) They
will be under strict orders not to fire on SOUTHBOUND aliens.

(5) Social security will immediately return to its original state. If
you didn't put nuttin in, you ain't getting nuttin out. The president nor
any other politician will not be able to touch it.

(6) Welfare - Checks will be handed out on Fridays at the end of the 40
hour school week and the successful completion of urinalysis and a
passing grade.

(7) Professional Athletes --Steroids - The FIRST time you check
positive you're banned for life.

(8) Crime - We will adopt the Turkish method, the first time you steal,
you lose your right hand. There is no more life sentences, if convicted
you will be put to death by the same method you chose for your victim,
gun, knife, strangulation, etc.

(9) One export will be allowed, Wheat, The world needs to eat. A bushel
of wheat will be the exact price of a barrel of oil.

(10) All foreign aid using American taxpayer money will immediately
cease, and the saved money will pay off the national debt and ultimately
lower taxes. When disasters occur around the world, we'll ask the
American people if they want to donate to a disaster fund, and each
citizen can make the decision whether it's a worthy cause.

(11) The Pledge of Allegiance will be said every day at school and every
day in Congress.

(12) The National Anthem will be played at all appropriate ceremonies,
sporting events, outings, etc.

Sorry if I stepped on anyone's toes but a vote for me will get you
better than what you have, and better than what you're gonna get. Thanks
for listening, and remember to write in my name on the ballot in
November.