26 March 2007

Am I a Redneck?

One year out on the deer lease my Dad was having trouble with the chain on his 4-wheeler. He told us that he had bought another chain if we could replace it. That should have been a red flag. For those of you who know my Dad, he is tight. He won't spend a dime unless he has to. It is rumored in our family that copper wire was invented by my Dad and my Uncle fighting over a penny.

So here we are at the lease. my Brother, Dad, Uncle and Cousins. Now since Dad actually bought a chain we knew the old one was in bad shape. The problem is we didn't have the correct tools to remove a chain. We figured we could get the new one on but the problem was getting the old one off. I couldn't even find the Master Link.

So after a few thinking enhancement beverages i walk over to the 4-wheeler and i am sitting there looking at it. My Brother walks up and says " Whatcha thinking?" so i replied " I think if i can get the barrel of my SKS through this opening i can shoot the chain off"

Well at the prospect of using a rifle to remove the chain this engages my Brother's thinking cap. My Brother and i are sitting there arguing over which rifle to use and the best placement of the barrel to ensure we will penetrate the chain. We agree that the SKS is the best choice but we couldn't agree exactly where to shoot the chain. This led to a really good debate about muzzle velocity and metallurgy of the chain. We both agreed we would need to wear a long sleeve jacket and safety glasses to be safe. We were both a bit worried about the bullet ricocheting off and hitting the engine housing.

It was at this point where my Father decided to interject his logic. He simply said " If you crack the engine housing you have to pay for it"

No he didn't tell us we had a stupid idea. He didn't try to stop us. He just wanted to make sure we knew he wasn't spending another dime on the 4-wheeler. And people wonder where i get it from.

After a few dry fires we decide where to place the gun and are ready to remove the chain. Behind us we hear our Dad and Uncle and Cousins laughing. We turn around and say "what"

They tell us you should hear your conversation from our point of view. Two rednecks in the middle of the woods arguing over the best way to shoot off a 4-wheeler chain and arguing over who will pay for the engine if you hit it.


In the end Dad decided not to have us shoot the chain. He rode the 4-wheeler with a bad chain and probably took the new one back to get a refund. That's the way he rolls.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

In answering your question, “Am I a redneck?” I feel that everyone has some amount of redneck tendencies in them. Some just suppress the symptoms and signs better than others while there are those who show their redneck with pride. I would have to say you are comfortably between the two. But for that one week in October, you let it shine just a little brighter. It is hard to deny being a redneck when you have guns, booze, 4X4s, and mud riding. But when you throw in the mix some paint cans, campfire cannons, or the fact that you use to shoot propane canisters hanging above a fire at night with a semi-automatic rifle, there is no doubt about. Not to mention the whole four wheeler chain episode. Later.

shooter said...

We have a similar 'frugal' person at our lease. That man throws nickels around like they are sewer lids. Lemme tell ya! If you tell him you found a bargain on a pair of binoculars on the net, he will have found three more bargains at the same price, just of cheaper quality.