22 April 2009

Presidential Ice Cream

New Ice Cream Announced
In Honor of the 44th President of the United States, Baskin-Robbins Ice Cream has issued a new flavor, “Barocky Road.”
Barocky Road is a blend of half Vanilla, half Chocolate, and surrounded by Nuts and Flakes.
The Vanilla portion of the mix is not openly advertised and usually denied as an ingredient.
The Nuts and Flakes are all very bitter and hard to swallow.
The Cost is $100.00 per scoop.
When purchased, it will be presented to you in a large beautiful cone, but then the Ice Cream is taken away and given to the person in line behind you.
Thus you are left with an empty Wallet, no change, holding an empty cone, with no hope of getting any Ice Cream.
Aren’t You Feeling Stimulated?

The world's shortest books

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY COUNTRY
by Jane Fonda & Cindy Sheehan.Illustrated by Michael Moore
________________________________________
MY CHRISTIAN ACCOMPLISHMENTS &HOW I HELPED AFTER KATRINA by Rev Jesse Jackson & Rev Al Sharpton
_______________________________________
THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BILL by Hillary Clinton
________________________________
Sequel:
THINGS I LOVE ABOUT HILLARY
By Bill Clinton
___________________________________
MY LITTLE BOOK OF PERSONAL HYGIENE
by Osama Bin Laden
___________________________________
THINGS I CANNOT AFFORD
by Bill Gates
____________________________________
THINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY
by Dennis Rodman
_________________________________
THINGS I KNOW TO BE TRUE
by Al Gore & John Kerry
_______________________________________
AMELIA EARHART'S GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC
___________________________________
A COLLECTION of
MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHES
by Dr. J Kevorkian
__________________________________
ALL THE MEN I HAVE LOVED BEFORE
by Ellen de Generes & Rosie O'Donnel
____________________________________
GUIDE TO DATING ETIQUETTE
by Mike Tyson
__________________________________
THE AMISH PHONE DIRECTORY
_______________________________________
MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS
by O.J. Simpson
_________________________________________
HOW TO DRINK & DRIVE OVER BRIDGES
by Ted Kennedy
___________________________________
MY BOOK OF MORALS
by Bill Clintonwith introduction by The Rev. Jesse Jackson
*******************************************************
AND, JUST ADDED:
Complete Knowledge of Military Strategy!
By Nancy Pelosi

21 April 2009

I love this chair

My fiance seems to think that i have bad taste. I wanted to buy this chair but she said no. It is rare that you can find such a comfortable chair.




20 April 2009

Quote of the year

Women claim that they never pursue a man. By the same token, a mousetrap never pursues amouse, but the end result is the same

17 April 2009

funnies

This one just cracked my ass up. It has happened to all of us at one point in time.




Johnson and Johnson is a genius.




09 April 2009

Damn its been a long time

I almost forgot about this blog page. My life has been going so fast lately i can barley keep up. A lot has happened in 3 weeks. I got my jeep out of the shop today.

Last October when i went to the annual pilgrimage to Louisiana for hunting season, i seemed to do a lot of damage. I blame most of it on my brother. We were at the creek and he told me that any pussy can drive across the bridge, it takes a real man to drive thru the creek. He then gave me a beer to think about it and i tore my shit up.

Here is the rundown of what got broke - 2 sets u-joints and straps, front drive shaft, rear drive shaft, motor mount, transmission mount, front wheel bearing and rear main seal on the engine. I fixed everything but the rear main. It had to be done from the inside of the engine and have never tried to do that before. But hey, it doesn't leak a drop of oil and handles fine. I can't wait to take it out again.

I took my Fiance home to Louisiana to meet the family. That was fun. She always told me she was a country girl. When she met my family in Podunk La, she realized she was really a small town girl and didn't know what country was. I took her to the hunting lease to show her around. She had a lot of First that day. We were walking down a trail and was attacked by King Snake sunning himself. She screamed so loud it scared me. She thinks a snake slithering away is attacking us. We borrowed my Dad's 4-wheeler and went riding with my brother and my cousin. We went all over that 3,500 acres. She was having a blast. We had dirt, mud, and swamp. We watched my brother and cousin take on every mud hole and sling mud everywhere. She wanted to sit in a deer stand so we took her to one. Once she climbed the ladder and got comfortable she spun around and came face-to-face with the notorious brown leaping tree frog. I guess it attacked her as well because she got scared, fast. I laughed my ass off. She shot a 9mm pistol and enjoyed that as well. She also collected 54 mosquito bites and one tick.

About 5 minutes after we pulled up at my parents house, the local deputy showed up and said that someone witnessed us running another car off the road. Fiance got mad and was voicing her opinion. She couldn't believe she was going to jail in backwoods La. Come to find out, my Dad set it up to have a little fun. It was fun for me, not so much for her.

I have to finish painting the inside of my house so i have to go to work. I'll post some pictures if i ever get done. peace.